Hi again.

It’s been a while since we’ve talked, which really doesn’t come as a surprise. We have no reason to, since there’s a period of time post-breakup where talking is a bad idea and we haven’t really hit the end of it. We won’t hit it either because that would mean we can talk and be friends again. But we can’t be friends again.

I know that at first I was the one who held on to the hope that we could one day have some sort of friendship. I didn’t unfriend you on Facebook or stop following you on Twitter because I didn’t want to start over when this time was up. I wanted to be strong and face the posts and updates.

Then one day it happened. I came to the realization that we can’t be friends again. No matter how much we may want to be, we can’t.

We weren’t friends before we were together, and that doesn’t help. Over the years, I’ve noticed that the people who could be friends again were the ones who were friends first. We jumped right into it though, getting to know each other as things went along. We didn’t have a “before” to get back to. If we did, that would mean we would still be in each other’s lives. But we were strangers. This is our before.

We are going to say things that would put a strain on a friendship. One day you’ll say something about wanting a girlfriend who will actually watch a baseball or football game with you, and I’ll cringe because that was something I tried to do whenever I could. One day I’ll say that I need a man who can cook for me and it’ll hurt you because I had said I loved that you couldn’t cook. Those little things would tear apart our friendship. Neither of us deserves that.

We also know each other too well, in every sense of the word. We know more about each other than even our closest friends do. You know exactly what will set me off into a tailspin of anxiety, and I know exactly what words shut you down immediately. That’s the kind of information reserved for best friends. But as post-relationship friends, we could never be that close. We know too much to not be that close.

We can’t be friends because of everything we were blind to. Love is most definitely blind, and it’s only when you take a step back that you realize that. There were things we each said and did that we brushed aside because we loved each other. But the moment the love was gone, we were no longer blind. We could see the things we once looked past. But we can’t look past those little things and that is what will ruin a friendship.

One day, we would have to make a choice between a friend and a relationship. It’s almost inevitable. One of us will have to say to the other, “We can’t be friends anymore,” and the reason will be because you can’t be friends with an ex and be in a relationship. It’s the biggest cliche there is, but it’s that way for a reason. And I don’t know about you, but that is not a choice I want to make. It’s better to avoid it.

Just like with all the people who used to be in my life, I’m silently cheering you on. I hope everything goes well for you. I hope you find the place you want to live, get a job that you look forward to going to, and find happiness with every part of your life. If word ever gets around to me that something wonderful has happened, just know I’ll be applauding you. I wish you nothing but the best.

Maybe one day in a few years we’ll run into each other and get a drink and catch up. Maybe one day we’ll tell each other about our biggest successes as we try to shy away from our worst failures. Maybe one day we’ll know what’s going on in the other’s life. Maybe, one day, things will be different.

But today is not that day. Today we are strangers.

Until that “one day,” all the best,