To the Siblings of the Mentally Ill,
As I sitting here writing this, my mind is in a thousand different places. I'd like to start off by saying you aren't alone. With such a stigmatized topic, it can often feel like you are, but you're not. This is not exactly an easy topic to write about for me, and I know it's not something that is easily talked about at all. But nonetheless, I feel this needs to be addressed, especially for those of us who live with those who suffer from mental illness.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, about 43.8 million people suffer from mental illness every year: depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and the list goes on and on. But why do we feel as if we have nobody to turn to?
My personal experience started at the age of 15. Most girls at that age are worried about boys asking them out or passing exams or whatever other crap we were worried about before real life rained on our parade. It was my first month of sophomore year, and life was just about as normal as it could get. I went to the mall with my friends, did homework and, to be honest, I had no other responsibilities.
It was just about October when my sister had her breakdown. We had gotten into one of our usual arguments right before bed. But this time it was different. My mom had told me they were taking her to the hospital because she was unable to calm down. She stayed there for three days. I never felt as if my immediate family blamed me, but, God, did I feel solely responsible.
Please don't ever blame yourself.
What is happening isn't anything that can be prevented or controlled. Don't let uneducated people tell you that it's your fault. You wouldn't blame yourself if your sibling got cancer, would you? Exactly. Mental illness is exactly what it sounds like: an illness. You can't expect this to go away overnight.
Don't go through this alone.
It took me five months to tell my best friend what was going on. I wish I had done it sooner. I was in such a stage of confusion and depression, and I just never wanted to admit it. If you feel as if your friends won't like you or talk to you anymore, get rid of them. They are toxic, plain and simple. Real friends don't judge.
Don't ever put your feelings or needs on the back burner.
Your problems are important too, and ignoring them can lead to a lot of anger and bitterness. You may think it's a burden on your family or friends, but it's not. You need to take care of yourself and make yourself a priority before anybody else.
The best way to get through what you're going through is to be open.
Now, I don't mean you have to tell every soul you know, but being honest about what has happened can bring you a tiny bit of peace. Now being 20, I look back and wish I had been more open about what I was going through.
At the end of the day, I want you to realize that you are going to come out of this situation more strong and resilient.
No situation like this is ideal, but how you handle what has happened can help you deal with all the other obstacles you will face in life. It will help you distinguish what is important from what isn't. And overall, you will grow. This doesn't define you; you define you.
Sincerely,
The Girl Who Knows You Can Get Through This
For more information about mental illness please visit nami.org.
