Dear People Pleasers,
This letter is for all of you out there who spend way too much time trying to satisfy the likes of other people. I would like to start by saying I used to be you. I have always been a naturally empathetic person who deeply cares for others, sometimes a little too much. With that being said, the happiness of others brings me joy, while their sorrow also brings me sadness. I was naturally a person who went out of my way to please others with complete disregard for myself and what made me happy. It got to the point where I didn't even know what made me happy anymore, because I spent so much time doing what others wanted me to do or what I thought would make them happy.
After a while, I became exhausted always trying to be perfect for everyone and do exactly what they wanted, or at least what I thought they wanted. It took me a long time, but I finally realized it was impossible. You can't please everyone. It's as simple as that. Sadness is a part of life. People are meant to experience every emotion, and I can't stop people from the not-so-good emotions in life. It was time for me to start doing things for me and not just for others.
I had a moment of clarity and decided that I would stop doing things I didn't want to do and start pursuing, or at least set out to find, the things I truly loved, enjoyed and was passionate about. Before that instant I had never felt so relieved, and in a sense, free. I stopped going to events I didn't want to go to and making decisions based on other people.
This in no way means I stopped caring about others, not at all. I will always have a deep compassion for people. I will always strive to be kind and caring towards others and handle situations involving others with sincerity. This simple mentality flip just means I now put myself, my desires, my needs, my wants and my happiness first.
If you are or were ever like me, I challenge you to take some time for yourself. It has helped my find happiness, contentment, and in all honesty, my true self. Although we all strive for it, perfection doesn't exist. There will always be someone out there who doesn't agree with you, who is better than you, and who doesn't like you. That is life. Stop spending all your time trying to please others and start trying to please yourself. I promise, it will change your life.
Sincerely,
A Former People Pleaser
