As I wrap up my first semester offreshman year, I keep looking toward the last semester of senior year, wondering how I will feel and knowing what I want for myself in this moment. I hope this is not just a solid letter to myself in four years, but if you're about to graduate, too, I would hope you could take some wisdom from this letter as well. I hope you have become everything you wanted to be, just as I hope I do my freshman self proud in four years.
Dear you,
You are about to embark on a great journey: adulthood. Maybe you are really going to get that Master's degree, or maybe you decided on a completely different career path over the last four years. Maybe you have a ring on your finger, or maybe you are heading into the world completely single. Maybe you are crying over leaving your best friends, or maybe you are finally ready to leave this place. I don't know what you are feeling right now, but I know what you were feeling. Freshman year is just as new as the end of senior year, just as full of unknowns, just as full of fears.
I hope you made the most of your four years. I hope you joined clubs, got a campus job, enjoyed the people you were with, and learned to be present. I'm still working on that right now. Being present is hard. Please don't revert to thinking only of the future or the people you are not with right now. The people that are surrounding you matter, they care about you, and they want what's best for you. At least, I hope they do. And if you have found yourself in a place where the people you are with do not care for your well-being, remember to care for yourself. I'm working on that, too. I hope you have found a way to love who you are, not a vague idea of who you will be.
Sometimes, you are too critical and insecure. Don't be too critical of yourself. No one is thinking about you as much as you are thinking about you. Well, maybe your mom is, but besides that, you are the only one as worried as you about what you say, what you wear, and with whom you spend your time. Don't spend hours picking out the perfect outfit for that date. Chances are, he's going to spend more time listening to your laugh and listening to what you say than looking to see if your scarf perfectly coordinates with your eyes and your shoes at the same time. It's not that big of a deal.
And speaking of that boy, I hope Mom and Dad like him. And make sure Grandma likes him, too. She knows what she's talking about. If you've seen any flags, stick it out. It might just be your brain trying to psyche you out. But if the flags stick around, listen to yourself. Jesus is trying to tell you he is not the one. But if he is the one, let him read this part.
"Honey, as long as he loves you well and takes care of you and provides for you, as long as he loves you well, that's all I care about. If you love him and he loves you, and you are both successful, driven people, I will approve."
That's what Dad thinks. Do you remember him saying that to you? It was when you told him about your very first boyfriend. That was the moment I knew he approved of the idea of giving me away to a boy. If this boy loves you well, Dad will approve.
Don't forget about your life goal: make six figures by the time you're 32. Don't ever forget to reach for that, but also don't let it consume you. If that is not what ends up happening, that's okay, too, but don't settle for less than financially stable. Don't ever buy into the lie that Jesus wants you to struggle. The Lord will never condemn you for being rich or poor, but He wants the best for you, and that is to be stable. That will always be true.
Finally, little one, don't stop turning friends into family. Don't stop opening your heart and home to your people. Someday, your only family will be your friends. Take time for your people, love your people, participate in your little patchwork family. Don't ever forget they love you, and don't ever tell them they don't care. Love. People. Well.
Love,
Me.
