I have a lot of angels in my life, and I don't consider it a negative. I've got my guardian angel, some past pets, two grandfathers, and many other past relatives, but I never thought you'd make that list.
If you were alive, you probably wouldn't expect this from me. Even gone, you probably still don't, but I can't stop thinking about what happened.
Maybe you don't consider yourself one of my angels, but we had a time in our lives where our paths crossed, and although I'm late in hearing what happened, it's affected me more than I expected it too.
It was an elementary school crush and after that one short googly-eyed year, that was the end of our stories colliding. We went through the remainder of elementary school as two strangers and continued down this road up until high school. We still never spoke a word to each other, but I saw that you were on my bus, and from there, our lives were connected again.
It may seem like nothing to many, but for me, those small moments suddenly became big when I heard about what happened.
What could have been different, had our lives continued to intertwine? You'd still be here, perhaps.
You were huge in my life back in our childhood youth, but I was nothing but an annoying pest to you, I'm sure.
People cope with these types of things in many ways. For me, all I can do is think back to second grade, where you were the cause behind the twinkle in my shy little eyes. You never lost that charm either, you know.
I don't know what went wrong for you to choose the path you did, and I wish our lives somehow crossed again before you made your life-altering decision, because perhaps I could have been a temporary road block and somehow changed your thoughts. But I know I can't change what happened. All I can do is think. All I can do is add you to my growing list of angels.
Whenever I feel a little twinkle in my eye, I will forever think of you, because our paths did cross and I will forever be connected to your story, even though I was a minor role.
May your soul finally rest in peace.
