Dear Step-Father,
For me, the past 6 years of my life can be summed up in about three words. I hate change. So in the few short months before my 16th birthday, when my parents told my older brother and I that they were getting a divorce, my perfect bubble of safety was shattered. As a sophomore in high school, I really didn't think my perfect bubble could really change much more than that. Boy, was I wrong. In the years following this drastic change in my life, I knew you were going to come along eventually. In my mind, maybe I put off the thought for as long as I could, but life stops for no one.
The day I met you, I had doubts. Reoccurring thoughts and fears about how you would invade my life at age 19 and be just another adult trying to parent me and tell me how to live. The only thing I pictured you as, for years and years, was someone who was going to come in and be that fictional character in every silly Cinderella remake there is. At first, you seemed to be just a blip on my radar. Just someone there of minimal importance until, like most things in my changing world, you would move along. But obviously that was not going to be the case. There were days I had my mom's back about you, calmed her own doubts, stood in her corner. It never really hit me until the night you came into my bedroom and asked my permission to marry my Mom. The thought was truly like something I had never really thought too much about, but I said yes. Not for my own happiness or for my own agenda, but to once again be a person standing in my mothers corner.
It is important to note at this point that I am a hardcore daddy's girl. There isn't a person in this world that could try to take the place of my dad and live to tell the tale. But as I watched my mom walk down the aisle this past week, there were a few important things I realized. Over the past 2 and a half years, you never once tried to parent me. Instead you became my friend. A person who stood by my mother's side and quelled her sense of needless worry on nights I would go out with friends and in the place of her millions of questions you told me to have fun. To let you know if I needed anything. You've offered advice and support in some of the best ways possible. You took on a new role in my family I had yet to even consider. Step-father. This role wasn't created to take anyone's place. It wasn't scary or imposing on my ever changing world. Instead it became a role of comfort. A role that, after so many years of trying to fill it myself you came and did what I couldn't.
I think every child of divorce tries to become the role that was ripped away from them in some way. I always wanted to take care of my parents and let them know that I could take care of myself too. It's very tiring and stressful for a kid to put that on themselves. I think somehow you knew that. So as I helped pack up my mother's little apartment and say farewell to the little sanctuary I've had for the past 6 years this past week. I cried. Not so much out sadness but a sense of relief. My mom is safe. My mom is happy. My mom is still my mom, but now, with a little extra.
So I say thank you. For being my stepdad, for being my friend, and most importantly thank you for being.
With Love,
Your Step Daughter
