Old "friend,"
It's crazy to think back on how things used to be with us. You were my best friend from early high school until college. You listened to me like I thought no one ever could before and I was able to open up to you like a book. As naive as it sounds, I thought we would be a part of each others lives for a long time.
One thing led to another and you confessed to me that you were falling in love with me. Unfortunately, the feelings weren't mutual, and I repeatedly told you so.
As hard as I tried to save our friendship and overcome these feelings you've developed, you didn't want to let go. Eventually the "love" you were feeling, turned into an obsession. I started to see a side of you I've never seen before. Someone warned me that this would happen, because you did the same thing to her.... But I didn't listen.
You started to fight with me a lot more. If I went on a date, went to a party or danced with someone it always became an issue, even though there was never commitment between one another and we both knew there never would be. You kept telling me I was making a mistake and would never find anyone that would love me like you do and that you were the only guy for me.
During the end of our friendship, I blamed myself. After being told by you that everything was my fault for so long, who wouldn't start to believe it? All I wanted to do was try to save the friendship I thought we had. But after all the fighting, tears, anger, physical aggressiveness and threats, I realized the friend I thought you once were was gone. The mental state I was in was unhealthy, and I ended up cutting out almost all my friends because of it. I needed to let go. I wanted a healthy and happy life again.
You didn't like that answer. You didn't want to let go. You'd manipulate and guilt me into believing I couldn't stop talking to you. You followed me to my car after class and refused to leave me alone after the first time I said, "Go away". You created a Tumblr dedicated to me and posted disturbing pictures and text posts to grab my attention. It worked in the beginning.
Ever since I was a little girl, I always dreamed about working for Walt Disney World. I finally had the opportunity to work for them in the Disney College Program. I applied and was accepted. You applied behind my back and were also accepted. You told me this was going to be my "Christmas Present".
That's was the last straw. I had to leave. I cut all ties. I gave you a choice to leave the internship or our friendship was over. You agreed to leave, but to my surprise you still arrived. We didn't speak a word to each other ever since you told me you were leaving the program.
I stayed quiet about you. I was scared you'd hear and follow me around without me knowing again. I thought you'd continue saying the nasty and false comments about me to your friends. Luckily, I met a large group of friends that I was with almost 24/7 during my program, and my anxiety for my safety slowly went away. Although I did see you in my peripherals often, eventually you finally stopped (or got better at hiding). Along the way, I learned something.
You weren't the best friend I thought I needed. It wasn't my fault our friendship died. I didn't deserve to be treated like I was for so long. Most importantly, I found people that "loved me way more than you could ever and you were not the guy for me". I am the happiest I have ever been without you. I realize now with a clear head that our "friendship" was toxic.
In the end of all of this, I have decided I want to let all my anger go. Even though I could never forgive you for the things you have done to me, I do hope you find what you are looking for. I hope you find peace within yourself and love yourself. I hope you learned a lesson from all of this. I hope you become as happy as I am someday, because it's wonderful.
Good luck,
Taylor
