I had a very limited knowledge of Crohn’s disease before college. Then, I met my friend on the first day of orientation. From the outside, she seemed like everyone else. She was petite with short blonde hair, blue eyes, and a huge smile. Quickly, we became friends and as I look back on my freshman year, I don’t think I could have survived without her. She told me all about Colorado, invited me countless times to her house, and was potentially the only one here to understand sarcasm. It was no secret that she was eager for a new beginning at college and was so full of life. But then, I realized that there was more to her than meets the eye. You’d never be able to guess that she was five years into a chronic diagnosis. At thirteen years old, she was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, which is an extremely early diagnosis. And now it'll be with her for the rest of her life, or until they find a cure.
So, I decided to recognize my beautiful, brilliant, and strong best friend. Here goes nothing.
Dear J,
I’d apologize for writing this but I know you secretly love it. I just wanted to express how impressed I am with all of your continued kindness. And, I want to say sorry that it had to be you with this shitty disease. Pun intended.
Recently you have been sicker than usual but no one would ever know. You take each day as yet another opportunity to make your mark on the world. You smile and wave to everyone you know on campus. You go to each lecture and lab, eager to learn, and willing to help your peers. You have an enthusiasm for life and laughter that isn’t matched by anyone near you. Plus, you’re kind! You’re genuinely kind. You care about others to such an extent that it can sometimes bite you in the ass.
But the reality is that you are chronically ill. You are always on at least one vigorous medication, sometimes four. You try new diets, hoping to find that the missing piece all along was to cut out dairy. You have to undergo surgery to reduce inflammation and abscesses, trying to return your body to its natural state. You are still so hopeful of a treatment really working, one to finally eliminate your disease.
What hurts me most as an outsider is that you’re in a constant state of being uncomfortable. People can’t see Crohn’s, unlike a broken leg, so no one would ever know you’re ill. You are poked and prodded at least every four months, when you see your team of doctors, all trying to manage your disease. This disease can result in some very awkward and painful procedures. Yet, you still find a way to lighten the mood and make jokes about your situation.
Your body has been taken over by foreign invaders, all trying to prevent you from living your life. But you’ve proved, time and time again, that you’re stronger than this disease. You prove you’re stronger by getting up each day with tenacity and a yearning for a fuller life. You don’t let your illness get in the way of new, exciting experiences. Besides, you’ve made it your life mission to help others inflicted by this horrible disease. Once again, illustrating your kindness.
I’m amazed everyday because you are truly one of a kind. You will never stop working and your persistence and charisma will take over any room. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this, potentially for the rest of your life, but I realized something important.
You can handle it.
Love,
Your sarcastic partner in crime
