An Open Letter To My Planner

An Open Letter To My Planner

You have my life on your pages.
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My planner could be considered one of my most prized possessions. Not because it's expensive (I think I purchased it from Walmart), not because it holds any sentimental value (like I said: Walmart), but because it basically holds my entire life. I would feel lost without my planner, and it's crazy that I haven't written a thank-you letter to this inanimate object yet. So without further delay, here is my open letter to my planner.

Dear Planner,

First of all, I'm sorry that your wire binding isn't as stable as it used to be. From me constantly putting you in and out of my already overflowing backpack, you definitely are starting to show some wear and tear. But I think that's just fine because it's what's on the inside that really counts.

And you have quite a lot to offer on the inside. I have two pages dedicated to every month this year, and then I have generous space for each day, including the weekends. Flipping through your worn pages, it's obvious that you are suffering from information overload. My black-inked scribble is everywhere, reminding me of what seems like about a million papers, presentations, projects, exams, and group meetings - a perfect reflection of what it's like to take 18 credits in one semester.

You aren't just dedicated to school, though. You contain all my other to-do list items as well - I can spot the words "laundry," "call mom," "paint nails," "grocery shopping," among others, popping up on a weekly basis. And, of course, nothing beats the sense of satisfaction of being able to highlight an item, indicating that I have completed that task. The result is a rainbow of nine highlighter colors decorating your inside, giving me a pleasing way to see all my accomplishments, no matter how big or small.

Thank you for helping me keep my life together. I can't imagine going through college - or life in general - without writing down all of my priorities ahead of time. You have my whole life scribbled and highlighted in your pages, and you probably know my day-to-day life better than anyone.

Thanks, planner. I don't know what I would do without you.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

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When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

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Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit: http://crashingintolove.tumblr.com/post/62246881826/pieffysessanta-tumblr-com

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What I Wish I Knew About Life After High School Before I Had To Live It

Life after high school isn't always what you expected it to be.

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So you're about to graduate high school and you think you have it all figured out. You and your best friends are going to stay close throughout college and you're going to take those long road trips in college to see each other. Think again.

Life after high school isn't always what you want it to be. You think you'll miss high school, you'll always be close with your high school besties, and you'll have all this free time in college. That's just not entirely true. I personally do not miss high school. I don't really talk to anyone I went to high school with on a regular basis, and I'm totally OK with that. I have friends in college that I believe will be my lifelong friends whereas my friends in high school didn't make an effort to keep in contact with me after high school.

I haven't had all the free time I've dreamed of in college, because I'm busy with school and meetings. When I'm not doing homework, I'm making sure the rest of my life is in order and all my stuff for school is in line. I'm not the crazy party girl that people think I am because of where I go to school. I'd rather sit in bed and watch Netflix than go out with my friends. I'm not a 4.0 student, but I work so hard in my classes just to make sure that I'm passing. I study a week before tests and still don't always make A's. And that's OK. It's not what I expected during my college years, but it's what's happening, and most of my friends are the same way.

Anne Marie Bonadio

Just know that life in college isn't all easy, breezy, and beautiful like Covergirl. It's hard and you will struggle whether it be in school or with your friends. College isn't always complete freedom. You'll be tied down with school and life and you won't have the free time that you always imagined. You won't always be best friends with your high school friends. You won't be taking those road trips because you won't be able to afford them, and if you're like me, your parents won't let you.

College won't be exactly what you dreamed it'll be, but it'll be some of the best years of your life.

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