An Open Letter To My Negativity
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

An Open Letter To My Negativity

You have gotten the best of me.

41
An Open Letter To My Negativity
storify

"You're fat."

I take one look in the mirror and I grab my hips. Where did all of this come from? Is this the freshman fifteen? More like the freshman fifty. I read a magazine. It tells me how I can lose weight, and fast. I want to do that. I need to go to the gym. I need to look like her. Why can't I look like her? Why can't I wear that? Why don't I look like I did when I was 16? She's so beautiful. She must have so many people that love her. She's so lucky. Why can't I be lucky? I pull at my thighs. These things don't fit into anything. I want a thigh gap. I'll do whatever it takes to get that. Whatever it takes.

"You're ugly."

I look in the mirror again. I need makeup on my face. I can't go out looking like this. What if people see me? What if people see what I naturally look like? I wasn't made pretty enough. I look at my friends. They're all so beautiful. They're all so confident. Why can't I be as pretty as her? Why can't I look like that?

"You aren't good enough."

I got a bad grade. I should have studied more. I should have applied myself better. Why am I so stupid? I look to the girl next to me, she got a better grade. Why can't I be as smart as her? I'm not going to make anyone proud. I'm going to fail. Everyone is going to be disappointed in me. Why can't I be smart?

Dear My Negativity,

You have gotten the best of me. I won't let this happen again. The amount of effort that I put in to everything I do will not let you win. Not again. I know what I need to do. I know how I need to improve. I will take you and mold you into an experience. This is not the end.

You have not destroyed me. This feeling is not permanent. You made me feel low, but I'm finding myself. I'm figuring these things out. I'm growing stronger. That's all you've made me do. Day by day, I'm turning into the person that I'm meant to be. I'm learning to love myself.

All of these bad days are going to be worth it. All of the bad will make the good taste so much sweeter. All of the bad thoughts are going to fade and I'm going to be able to say I made it far away from that bad place. One day it'll be worth it. One day.

I will learn how to look in the mirror and love the reflection I see, even when I didn't have time to go to the gym or eat a healthy meal. I will learn to love how I look without concealing it with my artwork. I will learn that each failure is a stepping stone. Failing is a learning experience.

I am beautiful.

I am smart.

I love myself.

You have not won.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

58217
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

37502
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

959136
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

193038
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments