Dear my inner writer self,

From all of your irrational fears such as insects, sitting by the wall, balloons, younger children, falling in love, etc, the one that always triggered your insecurities the most was your fear of expressing yourself through writing. The craft of writing was always that one hidden passion you were afraid to pursue. Every essay, every story you’ve written, every plot concept you have made up in your head during geometry class, every stream of thought, and words you spewed out on a piece of paper gave you anxiety.

What were you afraid of? God knows.

Maybe it was that idea of rejection. Your belief that people will judge your opinions, or criticize your lack of talent because you know you're crap compared to the rest of the eloquent speakers and writers out in the world. It could also be that you’re afraid of revealing your thoughts and expressing them in such a respectful platform. S.E. Hinton was only a teenager when she became famous with her angsty novel that began and ended with the same sentence flawlessly. Maya Angelou was a poet of genius and raw emotions that embodied a woman of color during the most socially controversial times in history. What makes you special?

You’re only an Asian girl with a Macbook. Has Hollywood ever depicted such a creature with three-dimensional substance?

Maybe it's the stereotype everyone kept pushing you towards. A put-together, mathematical genius. The prodigal daughter of a nuclear Asian family. If not that, then I was supposed to be a hipster weirdo with the fashion taste of a homeless man who goes against the former stereotype. The expectations people pulled out of you caused a surge of self-doubt that you are able to write, and be creative.

Or maybe you’re just really scared. You've never been the opening-up type or the type to express your opinions verbally. This was shown when a girl in your AP Government class in high school had to choose one word to describe you, and all of the possible adjectives in Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, and she chose “soft-spoken” because she saw through you. The part of you that was afraid of formulating an opinion in our government class on political and social issues, because she saw that you were afraid of being perceived as stupid or close-minded. So you converted writing and expression as a form of secrecy, something forbidden to expose. Revealing anything with words has always been an intimate act for you, similar to being nude in front of your lover. You always thought it was inappropriate to publish a diary out in the world, like there was something wrong with being an artist of words.

However you are an Asian girl with a Macbook—with a voice. Your opinions matter as much as the person next to you. You do have a story to tell. You have thoughts about political events, social issues, and interests that can sincerely spark an in-depth debate (yes, I’m talking about books and television shows). You have a perspective not many people can understand. Hell, being a collegiate woman in this day and age alone makes your story that much more worthy to be published in the virtual world. If Donald Trump can, why the hell can’t you? That man is talking about commencing World War III. You just want talked about things in life you've noticed, and share your thoughts about them.

So, dear writer, be a three-dimensional character in your story. No one can take that from you, your self-worth as a writer. For once you’re the narrator, the leading lady, the director of your journey to writing, because writing was something you've always wanted to do. I’m not saying you have to be the next Jane Austen, but for God's sake, don’t go writing a D-rated vampire love story saga. Because that’s weird, and you can do so much more. You have so much potential to improve on your craft, and it’s OK if it means endless nights and caffeine-induced days.

It will be a difficult journey. You will re-write entire pages, stress out constantly, and cry way more often than necessary. You will constantly feel insecure about your skills, and you will doubt every word you type down. And that’s OK. It’s a part of the writing process, and no one said letting go of your fears was easy. Every writer, amateur and professional, is constantly self-conscious and scared about their writing. Why else did the Lost Generation drink so much?

Also you signed up for this shin-dig, Odyssey. You may have heard of it, read some of its articles. And you kind of agreed to be a writer and social media director last Friday night. So you might have to suck it up, and write some articles about life for the rest of your college career. OK? Awesome.

After reading that news, you may have suffered a panic attack, but you should also pat yourself on the back, because signing up to write and publish your thoughts and opinions is one of the riskiest things you've ever done. Sometimes scary is good. Maybe tomorrow you won’t build up anxiety when you see a spider in your room. OK, no, eff that.

Getting out there where strangers are going to read your stuff and comment on it is risky and frightening. The fact that you jumped at the opportunity at the first moment was impressive. Go with it, because what you are doing is your version of bravery. Be proud of free-falling into the world of writing, because you won't regret it, trust me. Remember: Just keeping writing.

With love,

Official published writer