To my friend who helped break my heart:
I remember calling you at 2AM in the morning. I was sobbing. You told me to come over, so I did. You gave me ice cream. You let me cry my eyes out and even watch my favorite movie that I know you hate. You comforted me when no one else would return my calls. You kept me happy and made sure I was okay. Being cheated on was the worst feeling in the world. In the days that followed, you texted me daily to make sure I was okay and didn't need anything. You were the true definition of my best friend. You were exactly what I needed in my time of a broken heart.
Then, one day I was walking down the street and you were hanging out with him. The one who broke my heart. The one who I spent hours crying to you about. The one who made me feel worse than dirt. You told me how worthless he was, how I deserved so much better! But now here you are, holding his hand and kissing him. Slowly the pieces started falling together. I remember seeing your name in his phone. I remember seeing snapchats and thinking they were suspicious. I remember when the stories didn't add up.
Do you know how hard it is to know that I was crying my heart out to you, but that everything that came out of your mouth was a lie?Knowing that you were just telling me things you thought I needed to hear to get over him. That was, once my heart was healed, you could move in. You could get what you wanted. After all, what's life except to look out for number one?
Apart from all of the nonsense and hurt, after all this time I want to say thank you. Thank you for helping him cheat, because now I know my own self worth. I know what it's like to not need someone in your life. I know what it's like to feel actual love and comfort in another person, rather than always striving to be perfect. Thank you for showing me what a true friend isn't. I now know that a true friend will tell you something you don't want to hear, but you need to. I know what it's like to have a best friend who takes care of me in more than just a mental state. Thank you for teaching me to get back up again. You may have struck me down and so did he, but now I know what it's like to be at my worst. But, I also know what it takes to get back on my feet again and fight for myself. I know how to hold myself to higher standards now.
I may have lost my love. I may have lost my best friend, but in it all I found out who I am and I couldn't thank you enough for that.
Sincerely, the Girl That Neither of You Deserved
