As I write this I am wondering why this had to happen to you. Out of all people — a seemingly healthy 18-year-old girl, suddenly diagnosed with Lymphoma. It all started with the removal of your lymph nodes. A biopsy was conducted and you were told the devastating news. However, I do not think most people handle the results in as optimistic a manner as you did.
Three days later, you were diagnosed with stage four Lymphoma. I do not think that in your wildest dreams you would have expected this. You took it like a trooper. Unfazed, you were more determined than ever to at least try to come back to college. But you could not. You had to come to the realization your whole life would change. Suddenly, you were told that you had to take a semester off. After numerous visits to the doctor you started to understand the severity that chemo would entail.
As the semester continues without you, days become tough. Our friend group relied heavily on your spirit; after all, you were the bond that brought us all together. Through different Facetime sessions I came to the conclusion that you were so bored and lonely at home. When you explained your endless doctor visits, biopsies and CT scans, I cringed. Complications with diagnosing your exact course of treatment made you frustrated, which was understandable. It was horrific to hear you speak about getting poked and prodded to find your veins to draw blood. The worst part was yet to come. Chemotherapy.
A little piece of my heart died when I learned that you were not coming back to school. I believe there are a select few people who experience a friendship like ours. You were there when I needed a friend. I really took for granted the time we spent together, believing that there would be many more memories to come. But it was not about me anymore.
I wish I could take away the pain you felt. Constantly feeling tired and sick.
All the while, little did you know that I wanted to break down crying and tell you how much I missed you. I had to be strong for you. I know you felt the pain even though you tried to hide it.
Today you are still going through hell. You are a fighter and you will fight until your last breath.
Little things here and there remind me of you; like seeing people that look like you on campus. And for a second I want to go up to them and give them the biggest hug. But they are not you. Seeing cats make me remember the time you snuck a kitty in the dorms. Going out to parties is especially not the same without you because you were the life of the party. An infectious smile and a killer personality.
All I can hope for is the best recovery for you. Until then there will be many more Skype and FaceTime dates to come.
You are an inspiration to all. I love you more than you can imagine.
This semester is different — this one is for you.
