An Open Letter To My First Love That I Still Love
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An Open Letter To My First Love That I Still Love

The lessons I learned from you.

An Open Letter To My First Love That I Still Love
Megan Mann Personal Photo

Dear C,

We were young when we first fell in love. I was 16 and you were 18. Some people will tell you that teenagers are too immature to really know what love is. After experiencing the feeling that is true love myself at such a young age I know that the feeling has nothing to do with age; when it happens, it happens.

Our love was no fairy-tale beginning. After hanging out one time we couldn't go a day without talking. However, neither one of us were ready for a committed relationship when we first met. We talked to other people and argued almost every day. We both had a lot of growing up to do. But regardless of what happened, or who we talked to, at the end of the day, we ran back to each other. We eventually realized we wanted to be "exclusive" and started dating. I don't think I've ever been happier in my whole life than when I was with you. The best part about our relationship is that we weren't just "boyfriend and girlfriend" we truly were best friends.

You were the first person I called to tell about the best or worst news. You saw me when I was screaming and crying on the floor, laughing my most obnoxious laugh about something stupid, singing at the top of my lungs to a throwback song in the car, and whining about some stupid drama at school. You saw me tired with my hair a mess and no makeup on, and you saw me all dressed up in the fanciest outfit with a face full of mascara and lipstick. But each time you saw me, each time you looked into my eyes, each time you felt the same. You loved me more than I've ever been loved- not only at my best but in my darkest days. You didn't leave my side when I was struggling with something or when I would get in my little-annoyed moods because someone got on my nerves. You loved me with all your heart through every up and down.

We did have rocky spots, though, we faced lies and hardships, but never once would we have cheated on one another or truly tried to hurt the other physically or emotionally. People say you can't love someone else until you love yourself. I believe that 100 percent. When I first fell in love with you, I didn't think I loved myself, but you showed me that I do and that I should. You showed me that I am beautiful in every shape and form. You showed me that I don't have to change myself to be unconditionally loved because I am and always will be good enough. I believe with everything in my heart that I am a much better person because of you. We taught each other patience, and you showed me that everyone has their own view of the world and that everyone deserves to have their opinions respected, even if they aren't understood. My favorite thing about our relationship is that we could openly talk about anything. If I was thinking something I wasn't afraid to hold back, and you were the same.

Eventually, we hit a point where we weren't seeing eye to eye. We were both at different places in our lives and even though we were so in love, we knew that it had to end for the time being. We broke up. But we still kept in touch, we still hung out, we were still too afraid to give our love and affection to anyone but each other. A few months after breaking up we talked about getting back together but unfortunately, we never got the opportunity to. We had a great love. Greater than I ever imagined I'd have, especially at 16. My only hope for you now is that you are as happy as you could ever be and that you are in a place where worry does not exist.

I wouldn't be the person I am today without you. I wouldn't know how to love myself, or if I was good enough. I wouldn't know that true love isn't always easy and that some things take sacrifice and work to get to the good times. I pray every day that my next love will have so many of your same qualities. I pray that they love me as much as you did. I pray that they are even half as funny, outgoing, caring, interesting, loving, accepting, and adventurous as you were. I pray that I find a man that will treat me in a way that you would approve of. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder why I can't wake up and choose you to be that guy for me. I wonder why I got to be so loved and experience so much affection at such a young age just to have it all taken away. I can't seem to understand why things work the way they do. But you always told me that you just want me to be happy, so that is what I will try and be.

I will never forget you or the relationship that we had. I will always be thankful for every lesson you taught me, and for pushing me to be the best version of myself. There's not a doubt in my mind that you are by my side and when the time is right you will guide me to find the person that can live up to the high standards you've set.

Love always, Bug.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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