If you procrastinate often, I suggest you read this right now. Tomorrow is also fine. The day after that works as well.

As a determined procrastinator, I've made a commitment. A commitment to tomorrow. I'm not lazy, I'm just forward-thinking! Well, that's what I tell myself in the days leading up to a deadline, anyway. Honestly, considering the way I treat due dates, I wouldn't be surprised if I waited until the third trimester to start developing limbs.

Now normally, this would be the part where I would get preachy and tell you all to listen to me because I know what I'm talking about, blah blah blah. But instead of rehashing hackneyed admonitions, I will endeavor to dissuade you from hitting the "keep playing" button on Netflix by appealing to the slacker in you.

I know the next episode is hilarious, but you know what else is hilarious? Your short term memory after you pull an all-nighter to finish the essay you put off for Friends. And if your friends care about you at all, they will abuse it. Trust me, messing with someone so sleep deprived their brain power has fallen to the level of a retired NFL'er is really easy. One morning, I went to go take a Calc test after staying up all night studying, and I packed the TV controller instead of my calculator. It wasn't even remotely useful.

Getting work done early is one of the most effective ways of alleviating stress, bolstering self-confidence, and convincing parents to send you more money. Look, I know it takes a lot of will power to buckle down and mentally torture yourself for hours on end. But you paid tens of thousands of dollars for that privilege, so peel your eyes away from JD and Turk (I know I switched sitcoms half way through, deal with it) and consider the following things you could miss out on due to procrastination-based sleep dep:

1. A cute guy/girl flirting with you

But I thought that was a myth! My initial reaction as well. But recent studies have shown that this is a real situation that happens to real people. So if Emma Watson comes up to you and asks if that's an engorgement charm in your pocket or are you just happy to see her, and you're too tired to do anything other than stare blankly into her alluring brown eyes and drool with a brain struggling to think of any halfway intelligible response, you'll probably end up beating yourself to death once you realize what just happened.

2. If you need a reason beyond example 1, you are beyond hopeless.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm on break, and I have a bevy of thanksgiving episodes to watch.