Once upon a time there was a guy and there was a girl. There was a relationship, and there was a breakup. There were happiness and good times. There was compassion and trust and forgiveness. There was everything anyone could ever want in a relationship, and nothing was going to make these happy times go away. But then come the bad times, the hard feelings and the tears. The sleepless nights when you replay every fight in your head and wonder how you let it get this far. The good times come, and they stay, sure, but they slowly taper off until they do go away for good, and you’re left wondering what the hell happened.

I’ve lived, and I’ve learned, and I’ve loved, and I’ve lost. In the past couple of years, life has thrown at me an unfair amount of crap when it comes to relationships. I’ve asked myself over and over again how I could have avoided all of this. What could I have done differently? Why did this have to happen to me? So on and so forth. I’ve questioned my feelings, my sanity, my entire being because of these failed relationships. I’ve wondered if everything was my fault. I’ve thought that if I could change just one piece of me then maybe this wouldn’t have happened to me. Or maybe if I just gave it one more chance, because chances are my specialty.

But it wasn’t me. It wasn’t who I was, or even who I am now. It just was. I have no real explanation for my failed relationships except for it’s just how life works, and it happened.

The best thing I can offer up is this: life has this funny way of handing you people and throwing you into situations that are meant to teach you. Every failed relationship in my life has taught me something important and invaluable, something I would have never learned in a textbook or at school. Yes, they sucked. And yes, I would never want to go through that again. But I’m glad I did. I’m glad someone made me feel the lowest I’ve ever felt. I’m glad I had to overcome that because now I am where I need to be in life. I can see who I am and who I am not. I am not someone to be pushed around or used and abused. I am not just “so and so’s girlfriend.” I am not someone to yell at or ignore. I am not someone that will let things slide.

I am someone who loves deeply, and cherishes with a full heart. I am smart and talented. I will go somewhere in life, and when I get there, I will remember all of this. I will remember the little people who made me feel even littler, and I will thank them. Because without their actions and doings, I would not be the person I am today. I am strong and independent and loved by so many. And a failed relationship will not define me; it just adds to my story.