It is a proven fact that as you grow up, you slowly lose the people you call your friends. But you... I never thought I’d lose you. You were my sidekick, my go-to-dude, I did everything with you.

Little did I know that in a matter of a year, that would all be taken away from me. Everyone knew us as the unbreakable friend duo. Wherever I was, you were there right beside me, cheering me on. We went to every dance together and spent every weekend at my house watching movies and just talking about the silliest things that didn’t matter to anyone. I looked to you for advice from which top to wear, to which guys to look out for. You were always there for me for every problem that happened in my life, through thick and thin… Right?

I was wrong; I was oh so wrong.

I always apologized to you for venting about my emotions, because I knew eventually you’d get tired of hearing about it.

I always apologized for mentioning my other friends to you, because you didn’t consider them friends... You didn’t like the way they treated me.

I told you that you’d get tired of all the apologizing and depressive moments in my life, and you denied that.. Saying you were here forever... I was unaware that "forever" had an expiration date.

You left with no reason and I was stuck with my awful thoughts and blaming myself.

Was it the way I laughed at all of his jokes?

Was it because I didn’t support the one thing he wanted the most? - I knew it would hurt him.

Or was it the way I was a burden to him and annoyed him everyday with my issues?

Whatever is was... I regret it all to this day.

You haven't spoken a word to me in months - but at least you’re happy.

I held your hand through your everything and pulled you out of the depression you were drowning in, just to save you. I risked a lot of my life to help you, there wasn’t a time where I didn’t drop everything so you could FaceTime call me and cry on the phone. You always told me everything... From the way your aunt made the best mac and cheese, the way you loved picking on me just to hear my laugh, to the way your step-dad hated your every decision. The weekends we would spend together was an escape for both of us. We always looked forward to them because we knew that just being in each others company would make us as happy as a kid in toy store. We spent many nights driving around, blasting the stereo jamming to some throwbacks or the artist you were obsessed with and I hated… But I still listened. I was unaware that within a year... I would lose someone who meant so much to me... So fast. Seeing you in the halls is the part of my day I dread the most. I can feel the tension as I pass you and force myself not to ask you what kind of pizza you want with movies this weekend. I can feel the bond we had just ripping apart at the seam.This wasn’t just a “rip it off fast and it won’t hurt” moment. This was a pain only I felt, no doctor or person could heal it.

If I knew what I did wrong, I would take it all back just so we can watch the new movie coming out this weekend. I would start listening to your favorite music and learn to love it, because that's what made you happy. I would try my best to support every decision of yours, even if it ate me alive. I would let you vent for hours and ignore my problems... If it meant you’d just come back.

I see you’re happy now, and that's all I’ve wanted from you. I hope your new friend can make you just as happy, if not more happy than I ever did. I hope you can look at me and not see the girl who didn’t like some things you did, but you see a friend who never lost hope in you. I’m still a call away, and always will be for you...

Love,