An Open Letter To My Dark Side

Listen up. I know you're in there. Maybe you're not showing up when I'm at school, or when I'm with friends or family, but let's be honest: you're lurking around somewhere in my head, waiting for a pristine moment to strike when I'm randomly emotional at 10:43 in the evening, or when I'm more irritable than usual at 11:32 on a Monday morning. It's inevitable. You're going to happen eventually, it's just a matter of when. But it's OK, because I've come to terms with a lot of things, and I'm learning how to deal with you.

1. Breathing

You have a substantial effect on my normal, everyday breathing pattern. Like honestly, I breathe pretty normal-like, in and out, in and out ...you know whatever. But when I'm over thinking, or going off on friends or family that don't deserve it, I breathe pretty erratically, and by erratic I guess I mean it feels like I don't breathe at all. I've actually had to learn to breathe at a steady pace, and remember that even though evidence shows you're a controlling emotion, I'm always stronger than you are.

2. Physical Activity

I used to be a pretty angry dude in high school, but after graduation, I became a really active human, and I used this to my advantage. Working out when you're around is considerably potent, especially because I reach a level of excitement when lifting or during cardio thinking about you. You're the extra drive to finish that last set, or run that last quarter of a mile. The fact that you have such a profound effect on my active life is just proof that you aren't all bad. Working out has definitely shown me that having a part of me that is fueled by anger - I mean drive! - can be used solely to my benefit. I've lost 35 lbs.

3. Relationships

Last but not least, friends and family. To be completely honest, this has helped more than anything else. There are more than a few people that I don't live with that I consider family, (and my immediate family of course) that have helped me through more than a few rough patches. There is nothing that can be matched to someone who drops everything they are doing to make sure you're doing alright.