Dear Little Ones,

I know I'm not always perfect. I yell, get frustrated and tell you to leave me alone. Sometimes I'm too busy to play, but I promise that I'm trying. I promise I’m working as hard as I can to balance school, work, family time and extracurricular activities. You’re both growing so quickly, and I want you to know how much I love you.

When I tell you no, it isn’t because I’m being mean. It’s because I love you more than anything in this world, and I don’t want anything to happen to you. You are the light of my life, and I would be completely devastated if anything ever happened to either of you. That’s the worst thing that could happen to me. When I think about all the bad things that could happen and all the terrible people in the world, I panic. I know there will come a time when I’ll need to let go and let you live your lives, but right now you’re young and I just want to keep you both safe. I promise I don’t say no to you because I want to make you mad or upset, it’s because I love you and I worry about you.

I’m never choosing work and school over spending time with you because I don’t love you. I go to class every day and work every weekend to be able to provide for you both. I want you to be able to have fun and have all the things you need to have a fulfilling life. I want to be an example for you guys. I want to show you guys that hard work pays off and can allow you to have a life filled with happiness and memories. I know I miss out on some stuff because I’m always busy with work and school. I can’t come visit you at school to have lunch in the cafeteria. I’m not always able to come to movie days at school, and I can’t always chaperone your field trips or your class parties. I just hope that you can remember the fun we’ve had when we were all together. Specifically, our trips to the beach, New York City and our first trip to Boston. I’m still trying to find the perfect way to balance the chaos of our lives, but I promise that I’m trying.

The little things you do are what make me love you. The times I feel the most joy is when you two are playing together, laughing and smiling. The days that all of us get the chance to run around at the park, laugh and make memories are the days that I am most thankful to have you both in my life.

I am proud of you every single day. You’re both growing up to be open-minded and kind-hearted. You take chances, and you’re unafraid to explore and go on new adventures. You’re going to go to amazing places in life, and I’m excited to be able to share the experiences with you as you grow. You both make me smile, even on the days when you drive me crazy, and I’m always proud to say, “Yeah. Those kids are mine.”

Our lives are filled with chaos and every day is crazy, but I promise you that I’m trying my hardest. I want to provide you both with a life of love, laughter, smiles and memories. In order to do that, I need you guys to know how much I love you and to understand why things are the way they are right now.

I love you guys to the moon and back.