Dear Tormentors,
I would like to start this letter off by saying thank you. Thanks to your, what seemed endless, torment, I grew into the person I am today, and I love that person. When you called me the names you did, they hurt me, and that hurt will always stay with me, but as a memory. At such a young age, I was introduced to hatred, and it helped me to see the kind of people I would stay away from in the future and how I didn’t want to be.
For so long, I had hated myself, I cried myself to sleep many nights and I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. I hated what I saw because I felt like if you all hated me, I should, too. You called me so many names and said so many terrible things to me, tormenting me, threatening me. Why? That’s what I wondered for a long time. I always thought to myself, “What did I do them?” Then, I finally realized I didn’t do anything, I didn’t have to. If it wasn’t me, it would of been a different innocent child. I was the easiest target. I never stood up for myself or others. I was different than you, and you didn’t like different.
I wish I would've had the strength to tell you off then, but I was scared of getting in trouble. I never told my teachers because I was scared of your retaliation because snitches get stitches. That’s what you said. So, of course, I stayed quiet, but I wish I could of done more. It took me years to love myself because growing up, you tore my confidence all they way down, I grew up with no confidence and a real lack of self-love. A child should never consider suicide, but at the young age of 11, I remember actually considering the different ways to take my own young life because of you. You had led me to a breaking point, and it didn’t seem like you would ever stop.
I realized something then, and I still have to remind myself of this often. I am not here to please you. I tried many times to be friendly and nice, but you had no intentions of being nice. All you wanted to do was break me, and I couldn’t give you that satisfaction. I ignored you. When you called me names, I tuned you out. I told myself you hurt me because someone hurt you, and that made sense to me. Then, I pitied you because someone made you feel the way you made me feel, and that is awful, and I’m sorry you went through what you did to become the person you were.
I knew I couldn’t let that happen to me, so instead of taking it out on other innocent people, I turned that negative energy into positive energy. I worked on loving myself for a long time, and finally, years after your torment ended, I can finally say I love myself, my body, my personality. Everything about me that you teased and didn’t like, I learned to love. I hope you aren’t the same person you were then. I know we were kids then, and if I changed, you should of, too – that’s my hope for you.
You have one life, and I hope you, too, learned to love who you are because despite what you did to me, and I’m sure many others, you, too, are human. Everyone deserves to love the person they are. Tearing someone else down doesn’t really make you feel better about yourself. Thank you once again for shaping me into the person I am now. Without you, I might of had an easier life, it would've saved me a lot of hurt, but in the end, there is no changing those events, and I’m proud to say I don’t let what others think get to me anymore. You made me strong, even though your intentions were to make me weak.
All the love,
The person you tried to break
