To the men cheating on their wives, and my dad,
I will never forget the time I saw your wedding ring inside the cup holder in your car when it was supposed to be on your finger. I will never forget the time I asked to use your phone to call mom and saw text messages between you and another woman with those three simple words "I love you." Those three simple words I had only ever heard told to me and mom. I will never forget the day I followed you to her house and watched you walk inside like it was home. I will never forget the countless times I would call you when I needed you and you would lie and say you were at the "gym" when you were really with her. After 18 years of being on this earth I will never forget the day that you let me fall when you promised you would always catch me.
I will never forget the countless classes that I skipped during my first semester of college because I shut down. I will never forget how much you would tell me that you loved me. But how strong is that love if you were saying it to some woman you are screwing? I will never forget the night that I wanted to take my own life because of something that was out of my control. I will never forget how much you made me hate this beautiful world we live in. You were my superhero, my partner in crime, you were my best friend dad. Now when I look into your eyes I wonder what happened to my father because you are not that man anymore.
I will never forget the day I finally worked up the courage to call you out on it. I will never forget how I told you I knew everything and you sat there in shock. I will never forget how your response was "Well me and your mother are probably getting a divorce." I will never forget that I told you I was going to tell her and you told me if I did you would never do anything for me ever again. I will never forget that. Because that was the moment that I realized I had lost my father. I will never forget sitting in my dorm calling mom to tell her. I will never forget that you made me hurt her with your mistakes. I will never forget how many tears fell that day. I will never forget coming home that weekend and seeing mom broken.
I will never forget how you would buy me expensive things and give me money just to shut me up. I never wanted your money dad, I just wanted your love. You used to be a man who would put his family first, a man who took a vow of commitment for eternity. But it was foolish of me to think that anything could last for an eternity. I can’t hug people. I won't let the person I love touch me anymore because I am so scared. I can’t say I love you because I am not really sure what that means anymore. I can’t be with anyone without doubting they want to be with me. Growing up I would always say I wanted the type of love the mommy and daddy have. Now it's the complete opposite. Temptations come and go everyday. Whether it’s the little things like eating something unhealthy, or the major things like choosing to cheat on a test because you didn’t study. In the end it comes down to one thing and that’s you. You might think that this is between you and mom, but it affects me just as much dad.
Sincerely,
Your Daughter
