Dear Hollywood,
I’m a stressed out queer woman in search of media that shows a healthy, romantic relationship between two girls. I’ve searched the world high and low, and have found little to no lesbian love stories that have a happy ending. Aside from that, there is not a lesbian love story without a raunchy sex scene to pull in the young, questioning demographic. Although shows like "The L Word" helped me realize how gay I am. It was just a whole bunch of drama and sex, and honestly I have emotional limits when it comes to fictional characters.
I just want a romantic comedy featuring two female leads that fall for each other. Listen, I know it’s hard to be creative about something you don’t understand, I get that; but I need this. So I’ve come up with some really great ideas for Sapphic Rom-Coms, and I am giving them to you, the people in power, to finance, and make my gay dreams come true.
1. Jane Austen’s "Pride and Prejudice," but gay. So we have Liz Bennett, who I imagine would wear a lot of flannel and drink lattes with foam art while she reads an obscene amount of books, and would also talk to her dad about "Game of Thrones" fan theories. We also have Darcy Fitzwilliam, a LGBT rights lawyer who speaks five languages, and has a thing for power suits and espresso drinks. The title also nearly explodes with double meaning. Think of the prejudices that these characters would have to face, like Mrs. Bennet trying to get Liz to date guys, but then realizing Darcy is in love with her daughter, and eventually accepting that. Think of the last scene where the two characters could be kissing on a Pride Parade Float. This story basically writes itself.
2. A story about a femme lesbian who goes to Ikea to pick out a pink couch thirty minutes before the store closes, but accidentally gets locked in. Coincidentally, an employee was staying overnight to take inventory, and she just so happens to be really cute and butch, and the two chat all night. In the morning, the femme girl realizes that there’s something different about this person, compared to anyone else she has ever dated, and comes to Ikea every night until the employee asks her out. Their first date is building a bookshelf and eating Swedish meatballs.
3. Two single dog moms meet in a park. Their dog children get along really well, and they start planning play dates for them. Their dogs hang out so much, and thus, so do they. During their time together, they form a friendship, which turns into a relationship. They gradually fall in love, and they become each other’s best friend. They get married, and the dogs become brothers. I’d call this movie “Girl’s Best Friend”… for reasons.
I shared these ideas, because I just want to see girls like me represented in media. I want to see girls unapologetically love other girls, and I want these girls to have happy endings. I want to see girls cry because they’re happy to be getting married, not because their love interest died by a stray bullet. I want to see girls fall for other girls, because it’s normal and because it happens, and because love in all forms is beautiful.
Hollywood, you might not think these movies would sell, but I beg to differ.
Sincerely,
Stressed out and gay.
