This is by far one of the most personal pieces I have written. It’s not a topic that is easy for anyone to talk about but it needs to be addressed until it is no longer a problem. If you’re reading this article I feel as if it’s safe to assume you’re either in an abusive relationship, you have been in one, or you’re trying to figure out if the relationship you’re in is abusive. Whichever situation applies to you, I want you to know that you are not alone in this. You’ve probably been told this numerous times and are getting tired of hearing that, but it’s true. I also want you to know that you never deserve to be treated that way. I don’t care what he says you did or what you think you did to warrant being belittled or hit… that is not how an issue should ever be handled. It’s never acceptable. You are a human being and deserve to be treated with respect.
Something important to keep in mind is that abuse will rarely start off in a big way. It begins with small things that you may not even notice until someone else points them out. Don’t let him try to control what you can and cannot do. Don’t let him isolate you from all of the people you love the most. Don’t listen to him when he tells you that nobody will ever love you as much as he does. Because someone that says and does that... doesn’t really love you. You are a complete individual on your own, you do not need him to complete you or to make you feel whole.
Never forget that it is okay to ask for help, nobody is going to judge you. The people around you will not think you’re stupid for staying as long as you did, they just want you to get out of that situation as soon as possible. Don’t wait until he makes you feel worthless. Don’t wait until he hits you. Don’t listen to him when he says he’ll never hurt you but yells at you until you cry. You should never be with someone who tells you that he wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt you, because it shouldn’t even cross his mind that he could hurt you. You are worth so much more than that. If you have to ask yourself if your relationship is healthy, it probably isn’t. Listen to the people that care about you when they tell you that something seems off, because they’re probably right.
You shouldn’t have to hide parts of your relationship because you’re ashamed, like I was. You shouldn’t have to hide bruises from your mom because you didn’t want her to see them, like I did. You shouldn’t still be haunted by what he did to you, like I am. Being in a bad relationship is not better than being in no relationship at all. Know when to say enough is enough. Know when to walk away. Know that you are worthy of better.
