An Open Letter To Every Friend I've Ever Encountered In My Lifetime

An Open Letter To Every Friend I've Ever Encountered In My Lifetime

Thank you all for making me who I am

To the friends who I grew up with

I cherish every friend I have been lucky to have; however, I have a big place in my heart for the ones I grew up with. You people are the ones who taught me everything and made me into everything that my parents didn’t. Good or bad, I am thankful for that. My childhood was amazing because of the people beside me who grow with me. You were the people I went through every year of grade school with. We went from nap time together to snack time to our girl time that really meant “Let’s talk about cute boys time.” You are the friends who were probably the truest or realest friends I have ever had, because back when we were so close I never had to worry about how I looked what I said or did. Trust me these were the most embarrassing times of my life (there are photos to prove this) but it didn’t matter because we were young and we were all weird and embarrassing. We thought we were the funniest people alive and thought each and every one of us would remain friends for a lifetime or at least be each other’s bridesmaids. I just want to say thank you for teaching me what it’s like to have true friends, good times and giving me amazing memories. You taught me what it’s like to have an all-nighter sleepover, that I am the wild friend and how to be myself. You guys are truly going to stay in my heart forever even if we have been apart for years now. You will be the ones I tell my kids the best stories about. And for what it’s worth our pretend wedding in my basement in 5th grade allowed us all to be at one of our weddings together, which really was a dream come true even if we were 15 years too early.

To the friend who isn’t always around but will always be there for me in some way

There are so many of you and that makes me so happy to say because we never let our friendships die. No matter how far or long you are away we always able to pick things up right where we’ve left off. I appreciate you so much because I know both of our lives get tough and we get caught up in it and can’t always find the time to hang out or even communicate with, but when we do it is the best catch up and we always end up feeling better and refreshed. We can talk for hours over Facetime and our stories go into crazy over time with maybe too many details but the best part is you always are able to interrupt me and give me your two cents on the topic. I love that I am able to trust you with everything I tell you. Even though you aren’t always the first person I run to vent or for advice know I still appreciate each and every bit you can give me because you are a great and valued friend.

To the friend who always got me in trouble

I don’t know if the trouble you got me into with my parents was worth the crazy things I got into with you, but you’ve sure given me some awesome stories. I don’t even know how you’ve learned or how your brain is wired but it’s wired in a way that even made me, a little innocent girl, become rebellious. I used to think you were the coolest person I knew and in fact wanted to be just like you. You were and still are so laid back, easy going and everyone seems to like you as a person. Although you did seem to have a sort of side effect it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt, or at least that’s what my parents would say. You never hurt me, however I would get into situations where I knew I was being dumb, but hey I didn’t care I was doing what a cool kid would do and I had fun while doing it (sorry mom and dad). There was the time I got my phone taken away for weeks because I videotaped a kid hitting a paper airplane smack dab into our substitute teacher’s face, all because you told me to. I served detention for a week because of this but I thought it was totally worth it. Thanks for sprucing up my middle school record and making me a total bad ass when I wanted a little rebellion in my life, maybe now one day my children won’t think I was a lame kid when I tell them all about being the class president. And now even though we’re not friends I see some of myself in you, the sweet friendly girl and you in me, the wild side. Thanks for letting me live life on edge.

To the friend who grew to be different than me

I’ve had many friends but never one who made me question so much as you did. We had lots of common interest and lots of common talents and that is so great that we could share these things but a lot of the times I felt like we weren’t quite on the same path. I want to let you know I was challenged by this for a while, I thought I myself had to try harder to understand where you were coming from or for you to notice there was a difference between us. I want to let you know I was always 100% honest with you because even if we didn’t always see eye to eye I could never hurt a friend. It wasn’t that I necessarily wanted our friendship to end but I think we both grew into a state of mind where we knew there was a place and a time when our friendship was great but we just weren’t feeling it any longer and that’s okay. We’ve had some arguments but we never lost respect for each other and we ended on a graceful note which deserves a high five for being teenage girls. I want to let you know that we’ve had some great times and I’m happy with the paths we decided to take even though they were different. I’m happy for you and I know there was a reason you were in my life.

To the friend I met and clicked with right away

You are so like me and I love you for that. Just kidding I love you for so many different reasons and we love most of the same things to which gives us so much to talk about and makes it so easy. Speaking of, our relationship is easy, you just get me, I get you and we don’t have to worry about pointless arguments because we know what triggers each other. Right when I met you I knew we would be great if not the best of friends. You have me saying the same phrases you say and sometimes I even catch myself doing it. When others are around us they notice it too. The find us annoying because we’re so much alike but we find them annoying because they are so different than us. I know you will be my friend for a long time because we already know everything we both like and agree on it and if we don’t agree it doesn’t stop us. I don’t think anything will stop us not even our husbands or our crying babies whom of both will be best friends too. Thanks for being so much like me and clicking right into my lifestyle.

To my ex best friend who I wish was still close to me

This is hard to write and still hard to fathom the distance that has grown us so much apart. We used to be two peas in a pod, for a long long time and what I thought was a never-ending time. Our parents rooted for us because they’re best friends just like you and I once were. But others were not rooting for us, because we were the annoying friends. The overly obsessed are they even their own person type of friendship. People looked at me and they were looking at you too. We did the most ridiculous things together but I mean ridiculous in all the good ways. Never have I ever been able to be so myself with any other person before. You were practically my sister and your family was my second family, I miss them so much and wish our separate ways didn’t put a fork in the road for all our relationships. I have to thank you for teaching me a lot especially towards the end. You became kind of a bitter person in the situation we ended up in and instead me sinking to be like you once again I had for once found a big part of myself that had been missing. Without your friendship, I have learned a lot especially how to be an individual in which I will still thank you for. Other than that, you’ve taught me how to laugh when I didn’t think I could, how to choose a girl’s night being the best option over anything else and how to have a friend that feels like family. It’s sad that our friendship ended but people move on in life and I have accepted that. Maybe we’re too much alike or maybe we’ve grown to be too different, regardless I’ll have nothing but good things to say about you and hope one day our paths will cross again.

To my main clique I have now

If there is any group of friends on this earth that resembles the sex and the city friend group it is us. We have the perfect combination of the sassy friends, the sweet motherly friends, the wild friends and the professional mature friends. All together we definitely have our fair share of gossip and opinions we throw at each other but it always ends up being used in all the right ways. Sometimes we gang up on each other and dangle embarrassing stories over one another’s heads, but it’s all just for our own laughs. There’s nothing quite like you people I have ever come across anywhere else in my lifetime. Sometimes we have trouble finding a time for all of us to get together but that just makes our time together even more precious. Right now, it’s college and jobs separating us but we’ll find our way to catch up on breakfast dates. Years from now we’ll be doing the same only it will be babies and careers and we’ll meet up at the bars. I know now because we have been able to handle all of us being in separate moments in life like high school and college, that we will be able to make it through any kind of distance and amount of time apart. You will always be my cup of tea and will be exactly what I need to feel like I am at home. I can’t wait to continue our little traditions together like having spaghetti and pear lemonade dates and going up north for the summer. Never have I ever found a group so different who fit together so well, and never will I ever let go.

The friend who is actually family, my sister

You're the one friend that no matter what I can't get rid of. Sure, some people aren't as close with their siblings but why wouldn't you be? You were the person who I knew I had as a friend from the get go all the way to the grave. I knew that no matter where I was I would always have a friend because anywhere I would go mom and dad would drag you along with me. You were my friend when I thought I didn't have anyone else you even let me hang out with your older cooler friends when I didn't want to be with mine. You were the friend who would let me raid your closet any day, well actually "let" is a loose word for me to raid without your permission. You were the friend who I would and always will look up to because I think you're awesome; you are my role model. You're the friend that no matter what allows me to say we're best friends forever. You're guaranteed the position of my maid of honor, the aunt of my children (the blood related kind of aunt) and the whatever else you want to be because I won't get rid of you ever. And since we've been so close I think it's safe to say that in this point in life you won't get rid of me either. I could never thank you enough for everything that you have taught you throughout my nineteen years of life, and I'm still learning, still looking up to you and I always will. Thanks for being you, but more importantly thanks for being my best friend.

Cover Image Credit: Sierra Gardner

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I Drifted But Now I'm Reaching Out

I'm not going to isolate myself anymore.

I’ve noticed that since I started college, I dropped a lot of habits. Some were habits that I really needed to get rid of, such as picking at my nails and snacking way too much. Other habits, though, I really shouldn’t have dropped. Maybe I just got too busy or lazy, or maybe it was just something for the high school me. Yeah, I’ve changed a lot in college but I’m going to try and get back into the good habits I had.

College gave me a lot of time. Suddenly I had all this free time and I realized that it was entirely up to me what I wanted to do with it. The freedom is really great, I won’t deny that, but what I noticed was that I found myself alone a lot.

Maybe it was my intention that some days I just wanted some alone time, but more often than not I found myself realizing that I hadn’t seen or talked to friends in a while. I realized I wasn’t hanging out with people anymore. I was alone.

Now, I know the importance of myself reaching out. Before I always worried that there was a reason I wasn’t seeing or talking to people as often, I mean, there was school so maybe everyone was just busy.

But I feared that I was missing out on so much was because I was unwanted in those moments. After gaining confidence, I've decided won’t isolate myself anymore. I’m an outgoing person, but I won’t be selectively outgoing anymore.

In high school, I could barely go two classrooms down without seeing someone and stopping to talk to them, and I want college to be the same way. It’s really impossible to know everyone at your college but reaching out isn’t that hard for me to do, I’ve just been lazy. I haven’t put in as much effort as I should be putting in and I know that if I want to keep some of the amazing friendships that I currently have, I need to not be distant.

It’s easy to drift away when emotions and events start piling up. Sometimes, the only thing I want to do is just lay in bed and not think about my to-do lists and schedules and problems that I have.

Once I start doing that though, I get sucked in and it becomes so hard to get the energy to get up and move. I don’t want that to be the case anymore. I don’t want to hide away with the “what ifs” and speculation as to why I didn’t go or get invited. From now on, I’m just going to go, and then see what happens.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To My Best Friends, Thank You

I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.

I have gone through many friends in the past few years, some that lasted a while some that only lasted a few months, but you know exactly when you found your perfect person, soulmate, best friend, the one that will never get away. It’s the friends that stick with you through the toughest times and stay.

The ones you call at 3:00 a.m. because you got into a fight with your boyfriend and can’t sleep and they stay on the phone until your ready to sleep. The ones that you can count on to pick you up because you need a ride no matter where you are.

Dear Best Friends,

I just wanted to thank you for being you and for letting me be me. Thank you for letting me feel so much like myself when I’m with you. Thank you for sharing in my happiest moments, and for listening to my saddest stories and giving compassion and empathy from wherever you are. Thank you for being the only person I ever want to confide in. Thank you for being the most beautiful person, inside and out.

Thank you for making the world a better place, just by being in it. Thank you for defining selfless, always putting others before yourself, you are going to change the world just as much as you have changed mine. Thank you for all the memories we made at Disney this year on our senior trip. Thank you for practically being my second Mom.

Thank you for setting the bar so high and making it impossible to find another friend as good as you. Thank you for making these past years we have been friends feel like forever and for giving me enough memories to last a lifetime, but not ending there.

Thank you for making me hurt when I miss you, but for taking the hurt away when I see you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for the absolute privilege of being able to call you my best friend, thank you for being my person. Thank you for giving me these reasons, and a million more, to be thankful for.

I sometimes find myself looking back on my life and realizing how huge of a part you have played in keeping me steady when the rest of my world has been falling apart. How you have known what to say and do in the moments when I have felt all control slipping through my fingers.

Even if it’s just dropping everything and taking me for coffee, shopping and listening to me try to untangle the mess I call my life. Thank you for those days when the rest of the world is against me, for making me feel less alone. For believing every silly dream which enters my head and being excited for me about things which no one else understands. Thank you for always validating my emotions, for taking my side, for telling me when I’m wrong, for being honest.

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