An Open Letter To Every Friend I've Ever Encountered In My Lifetime

An Open Letter To Every Friend I've Ever Encountered In My Lifetime

Thank you all for making me who I am
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To the friends who I grew up with

I cherish every friend I have been lucky to have; however, I have a big place in my heart for the ones I grew up with. You people are the ones who taught me everything and made me into everything that my parents didn’t. Good or bad, I am thankful for that. My childhood was amazing because of the people beside me who grow with me. You were the people I went through every year of grade school with. We went from nap time together to snack time to our girl time that really meant “Let’s talk about cute boys time.” You are the friends who were probably the truest or realest friends I have ever had, because back when we were so close I never had to worry about how I looked what I said or did. Trust me these were the most embarrassing times of my life (there are photos to prove this) but it didn’t matter because we were young and we were all weird and embarrassing. We thought we were the funniest people alive and thought each and every one of us would remain friends for a lifetime or at least be each other’s bridesmaids. I just want to say thank you for teaching me what it’s like to have true friends, good times and giving me amazing memories. You taught me what it’s like to have an all-nighter sleepover, that I am the wild friend and how to be myself. You guys are truly going to stay in my heart forever even if we have been apart for years now. You will be the ones I tell my kids the best stories about. And for what it’s worth our pretend wedding in my basement in 5th grade allowed us all to be at one of our weddings together, which really was a dream come true even if we were 15 years too early.

To the friend who isn’t always around but will always be there for me in some way

There are so many of you and that makes me so happy to say because we never let our friendships die. No matter how far or long you are away we always able to pick things up right where we’ve left off. I appreciate you so much because I know both of our lives get tough and we get caught up in it and can’t always find the time to hang out or even communicate with, but when we do it is the best catch up and we always end up feeling better and refreshed. We can talk for hours over Facetime and our stories go into crazy over time with maybe too many details but the best part is you always are able to interrupt me and give me your two cents on the topic. I love that I am able to trust you with everything I tell you. Even though you aren’t always the first person I run to vent or for advice know I still appreciate each and every bit you can give me because you are a great and valued friend.

To the friend who always got me in trouble

I don’t know if the trouble you got me into with my parents was worth the crazy things I got into with you, but you’ve sure given me some awesome stories. I don’t even know how you’ve learned or how your brain is wired but it’s wired in a way that even made me, a little innocent girl, become rebellious. I used to think you were the coolest person I knew and in fact wanted to be just like you. You were and still are so laid back, easy going and everyone seems to like you as a person. Although you did seem to have a sort of side effect it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt, or at least that’s what my parents would say. You never hurt me, however I would get into situations where I knew I was being dumb, but hey I didn’t care I was doing what a cool kid would do and I had fun while doing it (sorry mom and dad). There was the time I got my phone taken away for weeks because I videotaped a kid hitting a paper airplane smack dab into our substitute teacher’s face, all because you told me to. I served detention for a week because of this but I thought it was totally worth it. Thanks for sprucing up my middle school record and making me a total bad ass when I wanted a little rebellion in my life, maybe now one day my children won’t think I was a lame kid when I tell them all about being the class president. And now even though we’re not friends I see some of myself in you, the sweet friendly girl and you in me, the wild side. Thanks for letting me live life on edge.

To the friend who grew to be different than me

I’ve had many friends but never one who made me question so much as you did. We had lots of common interest and lots of common talents and that is so great that we could share these things but a lot of the times I felt like we weren’t quite on the same path. I want to let you know I was challenged by this for a while, I thought I myself had to try harder to understand where you were coming from or for you to notice there was a difference between us. I want to let you know I was always 100% honest with you because even if we didn’t always see eye to eye I could never hurt a friend. It wasn’t that I necessarily wanted our friendship to end but I think we both grew into a state of mind where we knew there was a place and a time when our friendship was great but we just weren’t feeling it any longer and that’s okay. We’ve had some arguments but we never lost respect for each other and we ended on a graceful note which deserves a high five for being teenage girls. I want to let you know that we’ve had some great times and I’m happy with the paths we decided to take even though they were different. I’m happy for you and I know there was a reason you were in my life.

To the friend I met and clicked with right away

You are so like me and I love you for that. Just kidding I love you for so many different reasons and we love most of the same things to which gives us so much to talk about and makes it so easy. Speaking of, our relationship is easy, you just get me, I get you and we don’t have to worry about pointless arguments because we know what triggers each other. Right when I met you I knew we would be great if not the best of friends. You have me saying the same phrases you say and sometimes I even catch myself doing it. When others are around us they notice it too. The find us annoying because we’re so much alike but we find them annoying because they are so different than us. I know you will be my friend for a long time because we already know everything we both like and agree on it and if we don’t agree it doesn’t stop us. I don’t think anything will stop us not even our husbands or our crying babies whom of both will be best friends too. Thanks for being so much like me and clicking right into my lifestyle.

To my ex best friend who I wish was still close to me

This is hard to write and still hard to fathom the distance that has grown us so much apart. We used to be two peas in a pod, for a long long time and what I thought was a never-ending time. Our parents rooted for us because they’re best friends just like you and I once were. But others were not rooting for us, because we were the annoying friends. The overly obsessed are they even their own person type of friendship. People looked at me and they were looking at you too. We did the most ridiculous things together but I mean ridiculous in all the good ways. Never have I ever been able to be so myself with any other person before. You were practically my sister and your family was my second family, I miss them so much and wish our separate ways didn’t put a fork in the road for all our relationships. I have to thank you for teaching me a lot especially towards the end. You became kind of a bitter person in the situation we ended up in and instead me sinking to be like you once again I had for once found a big part of myself that had been missing. Without your friendship, I have learned a lot especially how to be an individual in which I will still thank you for. Other than that, you’ve taught me how to laugh when I didn’t think I could, how to choose a girl’s night being the best option over anything else and how to have a friend that feels like family. It’s sad that our friendship ended but people move on in life and I have accepted that. Maybe we’re too much alike or maybe we’ve grown to be too different, regardless I’ll have nothing but good things to say about you and hope one day our paths will cross again.

To my main clique I have now

If there is any group of friends on this earth that resembles the sex and the city friend group it is us. We have the perfect combination of the sassy friends, the sweet motherly friends, the wild friends and the professional mature friends. All together we definitely have our fair share of gossip and opinions we throw at each other but it always ends up being used in all the right ways. Sometimes we gang up on each other and dangle embarrassing stories over one another’s heads, but it’s all just for our own laughs. There’s nothing quite like you people I have ever come across anywhere else in my lifetime. Sometimes we have trouble finding a time for all of us to get together but that just makes our time together even more precious. Right now, it’s college and jobs separating us but we’ll find our way to catch up on breakfast dates. Years from now we’ll be doing the same only it will be babies and careers and we’ll meet up at the bars. I know now because we have been able to handle all of us being in separate moments in life like high school and college, that we will be able to make it through any kind of distance and amount of time apart. You will always be my cup of tea and will be exactly what I need to feel like I am at home. I can’t wait to continue our little traditions together like having spaghetti and pear lemonade dates and going up north for the summer. Never have I ever found a group so different who fit together so well, and never will I ever let go.

The friend who is actually family, my sister

You're the one friend that no matter what I can't get rid of. Sure, some people aren't as close with their siblings but why wouldn't you be? You were the person who I knew I had as a friend from the get go all the way to the grave. I knew that no matter where I was I would always have a friend because anywhere I would go mom and dad would drag you along with me. You were my friend when I thought I didn't have anyone else you even let me hang out with your older cooler friends when I didn't want to be with mine. You were the friend who would let me raid your closet any day, well actually "let" is a loose word for me to raid without your permission. You were the friend who I would and always will look up to because I think you're awesome; you are my role model. You're the friend that no matter what allows me to say we're best friends forever. You're guaranteed the position of my maid of honor, the aunt of my children (the blood related kind of aunt) and the whatever else you want to be because I won't get rid of you ever. And since we've been so close I think it's safe to say that in this point in life you won't get rid of me either. I could never thank you enough for everything that you have taught you throughout my nineteen years of life, and I'm still learning, still looking up to you and I always will. Thanks for being you, but more importantly thanks for being my best friend.

Cover Image Credit: Sierra Gardner

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Dear Mom, I Hope You Know

I hope you know that I am here for you--until the very end.
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Dear Mom,

I hope you know that I appreciate you.

You are the hardest working woman I know, continuously putting your family before yourself. Thank you for doing all of the tedious jobs that no one wants to do like keeping the house in order, cooking the food, and doing the laundry. Thank you for constantly putting up with my siblings and I. Thank you for always supporting us in our interests and hobbies. Thank you for investing in our daily lives and listening to our minor problems. Thank you for always loving us unconditionally.

SEE ALSO: 51 Things My Mom Didn't Think I Was Listening To...

I hope you know I'm sorry.

I know I can be a big pain in the butt sometimes, and for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at you, arguing with you, not listening to you, and making dumb decisions at times, but thank you for loving me anyways. Thank you for helping me stand back up, teaching me right from wrong, and pushing me to be the very best version of me.

I hope you know your love inspires me.

You live your life with a love that is contagious. Whether its nurturing love, tough love, friendly love, or romantic love, you have it all and you show it daily. The love you and Dad share is something I hope to find one day and the love you have for your family is evident in the way you constantly put us first.

I hope you know that you are my biggest role model and hero.

Ever since I was a little girl, you have been the person I have looked to in my life. You are strong, independent, confident, loving, supportive, and nurturing-- everything I strive to be as a woman and as a future mother. You give the best advice, even when I don't always take it. Though, I should know better by now because mothers always know best. Without you in my life, I honestly don't know where I'd be.

I hope you know that you are my best friend.

Not only are you my biggest cheerleader supporting me in everything I do, you are the person I talk to about everything, whether it's good or bad. I'm honestly so thankful for the relationship we share because I've had countless screwups and you literally give the best advice. Seriously, thank you for being the person I can count on at all times, at any time of the day or even night to just talk with. I mean we really do have some of the best conversations, best laughs, best cries (when needed), and the most fun watching cheesy chick flicks together or going on crazy shopping adventures.

SEE ALSO: I'm The Girl With The Cool Mom

I hope you know that I am here for you--until the very end.

I don't mean to make you cry or anything -- even though you probably already are, but I want you to know that when the time comes, I'm going to be there for you just like all of these years you've been here for me. I will be there to support you, talk with you, laugh with you, cry with you, and love you for all of my life.

Honestly, I can't really imagine my life without you -- but it doesn't matter because I wouldn't be here without you, so here's to you.

Thank you for being you.

Love you lots!

Your daughter.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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How To Break Up With A Friend Who Breaks You

The art of handling the weight of a bad friend.

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In college, you expect everyone to act like adults. But who are we kidding? At eighteen years old in our freshman year, we still call our moms for every little thing. One of the most talked about things between children and their parents is for advice and how to deal with certain obstacles. One of the most important of the obstacles is navigating friendships.

College is the time in everyone's lives where we truly evolve into the person we will be for the rest of our lives. Joining clubs, taking certain classes, and hanging out with certain groups molds us more than some may think. Being friends with someone who is toxic for you, even in the slightest, can and will be detrimental to your mental health and your self-acceptance as a young adult.

Singling out what is making you turn sour is a simple process. Look at what has changed around you and what is new. The most common thing happens to be new faces belonging to new friends. As their personalities rub off on you, you can see yourself change into someone you may not like. A rude comment every now and then becomes more and more frequent until you are sitting there wondering how they will make you feel like crap that day. Well starting off a true "friend" would never, ever, make you feel like dirt. Friends are a part of your life to help you grow and become the best versions of yourself. They aren't there to watch you suffer and kick you while you're down.

Talking to a friend can be hard and not a comfortable situation. Face to face confrontation is a task most people avoid. Yet talking to a friend who treats you in a lesser way in person is necessary if you are continuously thinking about what the said toxic friend said to you last week. Bringing up a topic of what had hurt your feelings can go two ways. The first of the ways is that they listen to your concerns and they ask questions and apologize. The second way is full of eye rolls, excuses for their actions, and are full of empty promises.

After a while, as the empty promises began to fade and their façade beings to crumble it is time to finally just cut them out. Stop responding to texts, stop asking them to hang, and stop the snap streak no matter how many days it took you two to build. A true friend will reach out to you in a personal way, a fake friend will confront you with harsh tones and out of context replies.

Life is way too short to spend your days as a punching bag for someone else's insecurities. There are people out there on your campus and around your hometown that are in the headspace to uplift their friends and watch them flourish in life. So, take your time to discover who you are, and find what qualities you want in a friend. And never settle for someone who doesn't see your worth.

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