Dear friends,
The time is nearly upon us. College decisions are starting to come back, people are applying for jobs, and graduation is looming up ahead in the not-so-distant-anymore future. In other words, circumstances that, while they're happy, tend to cause people to have to move away from loved ones. Many of the sweet, happy couples that we love/hate are going to have a big decision to make. I've only been doing this long-distance thing for one semester, so I don't pretend to be an expert, but I can say I've got some experience with it. So, here's my advice to all of you couples who are trying to decide what to do next.
It always breaks my heart when people say they broke up because they didn't think they could handle the distance. Now, I know this has to be pretty relationship specific, but I don't think that distance is any reason to end things. If you're in a good relationship, then you're with someone that you could see yourself married to one day, someone who is worth it. If you're not, then you shouldn't be together in the first place. I can't promise you that it'll work out for you if you do decide together, but I can say that you'll never know if you don't try.
I should probably add the disclaimer in that long-distance really sucks. It's hard. It's a lot of work. It hurts like a dull and constant ache in your chest almost every day. No amount of text messages, snapchats, phone calls, or facetimes feel like enough. I usually start running a countdown to when I can see my boyfriend again the second I stop crying after he has to leave. There are a lot of tears and long nights involved. But, for us, we would rather endure that than not be together. We each feel like it's worth it.
Most of the time, we only hear about the people who tried and failed at long-distance. It's a rare occasion to meet someone who has actually been in a committed long-distance relationship for several years. The few couples I do know are my support system. My parents did it for three years without cell phones, which is always motivational, especially when I just need a little extra bit of understanding from someone. Friends at college are in the same place my boyfriend and I are, just a couple of years ahead. They too are the same age but at different colleges. They've also been dating since high school and think that it's worth taking the chance on love of staying together. For me, that makes a huge difference. So, if you do decide to try it and can't find anyone who has made it, let us be that couple for you. Here I am, a girl who is in a long distance relationship that is actually working instead of crashing and burning.
There are some upsides to long-distance relationships though. For one, you get to really test how strong your relationship is. Nothing proves how much you're willing to work for a relationship like being forced to work for a relationship. Also, you begin to really appreciate your time together. My boyfriend and I went from having all of the same classes and participating in all of the same extracurricular activities to seeing each other about once every three weeks. Those weekends together are more precious to us than any of the time we spent together before. We also had to learn how to have friends, do activities, and attend classes without each other - to be our own people.
Long-distance relationships often seem scary. They're definitely considered to be negative by society in general. However, they're not all destined to fail. Yes, they're hard. Yes, they require a lot of work. I can say from firsthand experience that they're still worth it. To all of you couples out there trying to decide whether or not to give long-distance a shot, I say "go for it!" You'll never know how things would've turned out if you don't try. It may be the harder choice, but it is certainly a rewarding one when all is said and done.
Lots of love and good luck,
A girl who has been there
