Dear College Girls in Long-Distance Relationships,
I understand how hard it is. When your day was awful, and the only thing that would make it okay is a hug from your significant other. When texts, phone calls, and FaceTime just aren’t the same as having the person you love in your presence. The ignorant comments from friends and family about how “distance makes the heart grow fonder,” when the only thing growing is your constant uncertainty about where your relationship is actually going.
Distance in a college relationship is the ultimate test of strength and trust. Those who survive it know, without a doubt, that their relationship can withstand the test of time; and those who do not feel crushed at lack of promise that “forever” now holds. Academics in college are rigorous, but few things provide as much anxiety as the text from your boyfriend informing you that he’ll be spending the night out with the guys. And few tests are as hard to prepare for as watching all of your girlfriends flirting with their dates, while you stand alone, wishing your person was there to do the same with you.
Sure, visits provide momentary relief and remind you why it is you put up with the ever-present loneliness, but the night after a long distance sleepover is perhaps worse than if your boyfriend never came to visit at all. Nights when you can still smell his cologne in your bed and the only physical reminder of him is his baggy sweatshirt that you’re sleeping in, or the photo of you two that sits on your nightstand.
College is about self discovery and preparing for your future, but that can be complicated when your focus isn’t always on your studies. When Skype dates and late night phone calls get swept up in the hull of term papers and extracurriculars, keeping everything together can seem virtually impossible. Fights are a lot more challenging to resolve when the conversation is over text message and feelings often get skewed in translation. It’s hard to adapt to not knowing your boyfriend’s new friends or even who that girl in the background of his last Instagram post was, but in the end, these experiences will shape you even more than your classes will.
Do not to listen to those who prompt you to cheat, or the people who claim that college relationships never last. Have faith in what you have, and do what's best for you, not your new friends at school. Trying not to be that girl, who's constantly fighting with her boyfriend on the phone is understandable, but never let others' judgments about your relationship tarnish something so special.
I’m here to remind you that if you and your partner truly love each other, you will get through this. While things may seem excruciating at times, in the end, this trust will improve your relationship exponentially. You’ll learn to cherish your person more than you ever thought possible, and no matter the miles between you two, the feelings you have for one another will be account for far more than the few years of separation. The most powerful relationships of all are ones in which the trust and love are enough to overcome doubt and outside pressure. So going out with your single friends may suck now, but in the end, being with the person you love will be well worth it.
Hang in there, ladies.
If it's meant to be, it will find a way.
