Dear Fellow College Girls,
We've all heard that "chivalry is dead," romance is no longer alive, and serious relationships in college are just about as common as pigs flying nowadays AKA they just don't happen. But amongst that seemingly endless sea of f*ckboys, there are good men (keyword, people!) out there.
I'm not saying that you'll find the love of your life this year, or that every guy you meet will be a piece of sh*t, but rather that there are ways to weed out the bad eggs, and avoid wasting your time on the wrong people. Trust me, I would know. Luckily, I found my amazing boyfriend, but not until after I learned a lesson or two about what type of person I should be giving my time to, and sticking to my guns as far as how I should be treated goes.
When entering college, even the best orientation can't prepare you for everything or everyone that you will encounter your first couple of months. Going out much more than usual, meeting a ton of new people, and experiencing a completely new environment... it's easy to get caught up in the "glitz & glamour" of it all. But don't forget to be smart, and certainly do not settle; this goes for all you non-freshmen, too!
It's easy to fall for the bad boy....
It's the first week of school, you're at a party (or a disgusting 18+ night club in my case), some guy comes up to you and you get to talking. He's older, handsome, funny, charming and there's something contagious about his personality that pulls you in and completely blinds you from the fact that he's just some girl-thirsty guy at the bar, not prince charming.
Just because someone gives you attention does not mean they want to be with you.
Get with you? absolutely. Be with you? don't get your hopes up. So the story goes you "talk" for a while, hang out all the time, go out and do things together, even meet his friends and family. All is fine and dandy until you realize that getting a text before midnight is not a romantic gesture. Hanging out with you because they have nothing better to do is not them making time for you. Sleeping in your dorm just because they were too drunk to drive home isn't cute. And being treated like someone is different than being treated like the only one, and I can almost guarantee you won't be the only one. You are better than that and deserve more. In order to find better, you have to acknowledge that you deserve better.
I find it so sad that common decency is such a rarity nowadays that when guys aren't assh*les, they are looked at like some mythical creature in front of your eyes. But guess what, ladies! When you allow yourself to be treated badly, you're going to get treated badly.
Command respect. It's like douchebag repellent! Set your bars high--- the ones that truly want you will reach for those bars.
... but nothing compares to a real man.
This is what I meant by setting your bar high. When you finally meet a guy that genuinely cares for and about you, is interested in your life, and looks at you, it's like a breath of fresh air. Suddenly you find yourself waking up to messages, rather than sending them and receiving no reply. You feel comfortable with yourself in knowing that you're the only one that's getting his attention. Being taken out, showed off, and treated like a queen because of how proud he is to have you. He will be able to answer your question of, "Soooo, what are we?" rather than brushing it off awkwardly, and hey, you might even end up being boyfriend & girlfriend (shocking, I know. But it happens!). He is all about you, and will continue to be all about you. Do not settle for anyone, and do not be trapped in this mindset that all guys suck because they don't.
I've been there. I thought that being treated as an option was "normal" just because we're in college and everyone is trying to have a good time. Then I learned that there is never an excuse. You always deserve, and damn well should receive respect, loyalty, confidence, and happiness. You deserve someone who is going to be there for the ups and the downs, not just at their convenience. This person is out there, you just have to find them. Maybe it won't be this year, next year, or even the year after, but you will find them.
In the meantime, do what makes you happy, and surround yourself with those who makes you happy. Don't waste time on the guys who can't seem to spare a second of theirs. There are plenty of fish in the sea, sometimes it just takes a few tries to catch one. Chivalry is not dead, but you're not going to find it being part of the crowd that's digging it's grave. As they say, "We accept the love we think we deserve," and you deserve the best.
Lots of love,
A College Girl That Found a Keeper
