I'm here for you. I understand your thoughts and fears, and I know the anxiety you feel every single day. I know that sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night crying and sobbing because he or she popped into your mind. I know that, at least for a while, every time you look in the mirror you see them. And I know that keeping it bottled up feels like the right decision. I know you believe that nothing good can come out of telling someone. And, most devastatingly, I know that you may feel a tinge of guilt about what happened.
See, society has taught us that rape or sexual assault is our fault. And if we would have just not worn that skirt, not gone to that party or not (insert whatever bullshit excuse you’ve been given) it wouldn’t have happened. But that’s not true. It’s never your fault. And to the men who experience this: You are not less masculine if you admit to being sexually assaulted. Don’t listen to dumbass society that says, “a woman can’t rape a man.” That’s bullshit. It happens. And sadly, it happens often. Unfortunately, less is reported and these women roam free. The world is a scary place.
I know that cases like Brock Turner and the unsolved case at IU make it seem like reporting a sexual assault or rape accusation is worthless, but I beg you, it's not. Even though it may seem like nothing will come of it, the world still knows their face and their name. Had the unnamed woman not reported Turner, he could still be out there hurting other people.
Keeping it bottled inside means nobody knows the monster your rapist is. By reporting a rape or assault, the women (or men) around you become aware they need to stay away from that person. When Turner gets out of jail, if he shows up at a party, he won’t have any positive attention toward him. If the unnamed guy from IU walks around Bloomington, women will scatter. I know it's hard. I know it's painful. But it’s important. Protect the people you love. Protect those around you and get some closure for yourself.
I know I’m just some random girl behind a computer, and I know that making this sort of decision is difficult. And I know that I’m sitting here saying all of this when I didn’t follow my own advice and still only two people in this world know what happened to me. I regret not sticking up for myself and other girls when it happened, but you have a support system.
Your support system is every man or woman who has suffered from sexual assault, knows someone who has or simply understands this is a problem in our society. And if you don’t end up reporting it, that’s OK. No one will be mad. Our sad, pathetic social justice system has proven that the assaulter may not be punished. I understand why someone would choose not to say anything. But I don’t know any man or woman who has said that they truly regret reporting what happened. However, I know many people who, myself included, suffer every day because they didn’t tell.
