Relationships are hard, (sorry to state the obvious). You go through such a hassle to define one, worry if he/she even likes you back, finally pin yourself down as “official,” struggle through the getting-to-know-you phase, somehow spend weeks and months together without slitting the other’s throat, and then through all the effort, tears, forehead kisses, drama, late night phone calls, good morning texts, and “I love you” being said, it all just comes to an end.
Now you’re torn between wanting to hold on and needing to let go.
To all the awesome, recently single people,
I would first like to say I’m sorry your relationship didn’t work out. I’m sure that he/she loved you very much, (and maybe even still does). Sometimes, love isn’t enough; that’s the hardest thing to learn.
Whatever the reason for your break-up, it wasn’t your fault. There is nothing wrong with you. This just happens sometimes. It is not some character flaw that was your downfall. You could blame it on a lot of things: distance, time, miscommunication. I promise you, the right person will love each and every one of your quirks, the timing will be just right, distance won’t be an issue, and your communication will be so strong you can read each other without even talking.
It’s weird, right? To go from a “we” to a “just me.” You might have not only just lost your significant other, but you also lost your best friend. So when you see something random that reminds you instantly of him/her, and you pick up your phone to text them, and you know he/she won’t answer; instantly, you feel lost and alone.
I want to tell you this will go away eventually, but I can’t. The weird connections will always be there, but they will dull. They will be in the rainy days you remember sitting in your car and talking about nothing, in the music you shared, and in the couples you see on the street, remembering when you used to look at each other like that.
Whether you believe this or not: You do not need to be with someone to be happy.
So now you’re single. Do you date? Do you even know how to anymore? Maybe now is the time to figure out who you are and separate from who you were with him/her. Whatever you do, take your time. Now is not the time to rush into something new. Now is the time to cry it out, to eat some ice cream by the spoonful and to call up a friend. Just because your girlfriend/boyfriend left you, that doesn’t mean your friends left you, too. This is what friends are for.
No matter what, please do not give up on love. It’s out there. It’s somewhere in the seven billion people that inhabit this planet. When you find him/her it will be a sigh of relief. Somehow you found each other, and you will no longer remember the ones who broke your heart.
