Dear Fat People,
I am one of you. I've never been skinny. The lightest I've ever been in my adult life was when I got my tonsils out and couldn't eat anything other than shaved ice and pain medicine. I'm now the heaviest I've ever been in my adult life and I'm okay. I'm taking it a day at a time, I'm trying, and it isn't enough for some people...but that's not the point of this letter. This letter is for the middle school girl who gets asked out on dates as a joke because of her weight. This letter is for the boy who feels uncomfortable taking his shirt off when he goes swimming. This letter is for the ones who have always felt defined by how much they weigh.
Every time I see any article that tries to uplift people who are overweight all I see are bodybuilders and people who've never experienced this particular struggle saying things like "Why are we glorifying obesity?" or "All it takes is a little hard work, you land whale!" and it hurts me every time. Not for myself. I learned to love and accept myself awhile ago. But for those who still hate themselves and care so much about what others think of them. I ache for their hearts and self-worth.
Please let me stress one thing: You are not determined by your weight.
You are so much more. You are kind, loving, compassionate, hopeful, fun, and not a number on a scale. Please know that your worth will never, ever be defined by that number. The amount of positivity and love that you bring to others can never be contained into such a simple and obsolete thing. This goes for people who are criticized for being too skinny as well. You are just as worthy of love, acceptance, and respect. I'm not much of an expert in that area but your size will never outshine your personality and you're just as beautiful all the same.
For those of you reading this who disagree, who patrol comment sections and squander a person's love for themselves, who dare to push others down to feel better: shame on you. You can see somebody's size upon first glance, but you know what you can't see? Their struggles. Maybe their dad just died or they're failing all of their classes. Maybe their boss yelled at them and that ice cream cone they're eating is the first good thing to happen to them all day. Maybe they can't afford anything but the burger of the dollar menu, especially not organic kale. Maybe they've just lost 100 pounds, but they're still too heavy for you. Maybe, just maybe, they love how they look and you, for whatever reason, feel holier than thou and squash that. Some people are not in the right place mentally, financially, or physically to make losing weight a priority. That's their prerogative and not yours. You can't possibly know that person's circumstance, nor become their nutritionist, in the split second that you see them.
That being said, some people are fat and happy with how they look. I know that blows your mind but it's possible. Some people, like me, have such a difficult time losing weight that, while I try every day to make better and more conscious decisions, I've accepted where I am. I love myself. I used to not and I will never let something as trivial as my appearance put me back in that spot. Some people have no intention of losing weight and that's also their right. Yeah, it's not the healthiest lifestyle, but that's their decision for what's best for them given their current situation. Honestly, unless you're somebody's doctor or mom, you really shouldn't be giving them advice.
Now, this section is for all of the fat people who haven't yet accepted themselves. That's okay. You're still a good person. I got to where I was because people were willing to post pictures of themselves, with body positive captions and because people were willing to help me realize my self-worth. I want to be that person for you. I'm leaving myself vulnerable to criticism that I will undoubtedly get for this but I want you to feel loved and accepted just as you are. I want you to know that you are loved and you are good enough. If not now, someday you will be surrounded by people who see you for who you are, which is so much more than your aesthetic appeal. I pray that you find love for yourself and can help spread it to others. You may be fat and that's okay, you're still worthy of love. Fat and ugly are not mutually exclusive terms. Own who you are and the rest will come naturally.
All the best,
Kaylen
