The only word I can use to describe what we had is "almost". We were almost together . We were almost in love . I still think about you . Way more than I should . It's like I never really got closure . But what kind of closure do I need ? I'm the one that "moved on" . That's why you're mad at me , & why you barely talk to me , right ?

I've never found someone I could open up to the way I did with you . We could literally talk about anything for hours and hours . I felt like I had known you for years . You made it so easy to let my walls down . I think that's why it hurt so much . All I wanted was to give you all of me .

I waited for you for 6 months . You knew what I wanted . You made me feel like I was the girl for you . You made me feel so special and so beautiful . "I could love you" are the exact words you said while laying next to me gazing into my eyes . That's the moment everything changed for me . The way my heart melted and the butterflies got so intense . Thats the moment I realized I could love you too , or did I already love you ? I loved your mind . I your loved words . I loved your sex . Our connection was something incredible & there was still so much more to you that I didn't know . I knew I was in way too deep . I thought you felt it too , but I guess I was wrong .

I couldn't keep waiting for you to make a move . The conversations stopped . You would disappear for days at a time . That feeling you gave me, started turning into a "hurt" feeling . I missed you so much and all I ever thought about was you . Every text that came through I prayed it was you . But I guess I wasn't important enough to be a part of your life .

Then all of a sudden I was in a relationship . I get it , it came out of no where . But I blew this guy off for 6 months because all I wanted was you . When you started disappearing , I had to replace the sadness I felt . You didn't do your part (you know what I mean by that) to turn our "almost" relationship into a real relationship . I moved on because all I saw was pain and a waiting game that I was never going to win . The problem is .. I never actually moved on .

So here I am almost 3 years letter writing this. It's not like you don't know how I feel . I've only told you 25 times . But now days you're the "one word text every couple of months" kinda guy , instead of the "deep meaningful daily conversation" kinda guy you were . I've made it clear that I miss you & that I want your friendship back , if nothing else . But you keep going ghost . So I guess that means you don't want me in your life & I'm gonna stop trying to be in it .

I just want to end this what a thank you . Thank you for showing me a kind of connection that felt so real and pure . Something that I never knew was possible & something so irreplaceable .

Sincerely,

The girl who almost loved you