Dear Grandpa,

I'm finding it hard to believe that you are really gone. I visited you and Grandma's house recently and as I drove down the street I felt a different feeling because I knew that you wouldn't be sitting in your big, comfy chair in the living room as usual. It is surreal really, to think that I won't be seeing your smile or hearing your laugh any longer and it is very hard to accept that you are gone. I must admit, I am relieved that you are no longer in pain. You were so sick, so tired, so weak and I can not imagine how hard that life must have been for you. I hated seeing you that way and I am sure you hated living that way. Grandpa, I am lucky to have had you in my life, though our time together seemed so short, I never doubted that you loved me. You never ceased to encourage me in every aspect of my life, you never doubted my ability and you always made sure I felt loved.

Grandpa, I know you wouldn't want me to do this to myself but, I am filled with regret. I feel that I should have spent more time with you, that I should have taken advantage of those precious minutes I was lucky enough to have had the opportunity to spend with you. I should have offered you help more often and I should have accepted all of the little gifts you would give to me, even though I thought they were meaningless. They were never meaningless, simply because they came from you. I should have always listened attentively to your stories and I should have always said "Goodnight" and "I love you." I should have appreciated you more and expressed how much you really mean to me because now you are gone and this feeling won't go away.

I cling to the memories we made together. I remember, as a young girl, I would hold your hand observing each wrinkle and vein, filled with wonderment. Your hands, aged and weathered by your incredibly adventurous life. A life which seemed never to cut you a break. One thing after the other it seems that you never had it easy but a word of complaint never crossed your lips. Grandpa, you are an inspiration to me, a true model of how to properly live life and I will always strive to be as generous and kind as you were.

You are gone, yes, but when I picture you moving into the next world I imagine that the Lord accepted you with open arms, whispering "Welcome home." I know you will make one hell of a guardian angel for all of us left here on earth and this is not good-bye forever, just good-bye for now. I love you Grandpa.