I would like to start out by saying I am sorry for being who I am. Being gay wasn't something I was sculpted to be, I was born this way and when I came out when I was 17 I knew it wasn't going to be good, and it wasn't, but the issues started way before then... didn't they?

I remember you having the conversation with the greatest mom anyone could ask for, and I am sorry. I am sorry, in your words, "my life was ruined the day that kid was born." I am sorry I destroyed your perfect life, with a "perfect" second marriage, 2 perfect children, and a perfectly successful business.

I'm sorry I did so many wrong things growing up. I am sorry I did so many wrong things growing up. I am sorry I wasn't the perfectly acting child. I sat in a stool at the business you owned, every day, all day, without any affection from you, mom was always there for me, but why couldn't I have a dad too? I may have been young, but I remember crying for some reason, and I remember your voice shouting, "can someone shut him up!" I may not have understood then, but I do now.

I am sorry I didn't continue with the sports you pushed on me. It was the only attention you gave me. I remember you never giving me a break, I practiced for hours, never letting me be a kid. I was good, I know I was, but you sucked the fun right out of it for me and completely pushed me away from it. I remember you constantly bragging about me in public, about my talent, but coming home and emotionally abusing me, telling me how I wasn't good enough, and I never would be. I don't think a 11 year old would pitch a 7 inning game, or crack a home run every hit or even win archery tournaments without a sight, if he wasn't talented.

I am sorry I wasn't like my brothers. They're awesome aren't they? I didn't think so when I was younger, I hated them. You loved them so much, and hated me. How could I like them, it was always about them, but somehow you ended up pushing us all away, didn't you? I don't blame them, I really don't. They are my brothers, I love them to death, and I wouldn't want them to get hurt ever again, so I'm glad they moved away.

I am sorry that I made you so mad that you constantly assaulted me. You know what I'm talking about. They weren't spankings. Do you remember picking me up by my ear and throwing me against a wall; throwing me off the couch; kicking me in the face and ribs with boots on then throwing a class cup at me as I ran out the door, or how about your most recent attack as you bashed my face off the bar and then punching me, all because you thought i said "my brother is a dickhead," when in actuality I said "my dad is a dickhead." There's some food for thought.

I am sorry for "never respecting" you. I didn't think you were my dad, you were never there, you were never present in my life. You say I get whatever I want, but all I've wanted was for you to be there. I'd give back all the material things I own, for it to be that way. I must respect you though, from all the times you've assaulted me, I still never hit you back.

I am sorry for becoming a cheerleader. It really bugged you didn't it? How on earth could one of your kids be gay AND be a cheerleader? What can I say, I love it to death. Why you may ask? Maybe because I chose it, I decided on this one. Now I own my own cheerleading program and coach a college team. Yet, you're not proud about that, unless your trying to one-up somebody. I just wish you came to at least one competition, but you didn't.

I am sorry you feel the need to have spy's on me. What am I doing wrong? I'm one of the best workers you have, but not for long, because my time has certainly grown old there. It's okay though, he can keep spying on me, it just shows the insecurity.

I am sorry you're an alcoholic with anger issues. How can you be so angry? You don't think you're an alcoholic, and that's the worse part. You are drinking all the time, and you fight random people. Just so you know, you shouldn't drink and drive, especially a motorcycle, it's not a good idea.

I am sorry for mom. Mom has been a fighter. She has dealt with your physical and mental abuse for far too long. Constantly putting her down, and worst of all, affair after affair with the nastiest of women, yeah, you know did. We all do. You did it in marriage number 1, and a leopard can't change its spots. I don't know why she hasn't left you let, She's a beautiful women and deserves much better.

I am sorry you never cared for me and were never there. You really missed out. I have amazing friends and people that support me. You should see the way my athletes and old coaches talk about me, they have said some amazing things and it always fills me with joy, but like normal, you don't care.

Lastly, I am sorry about what i'm saying. No one knows, do they? I'm assuming not, because you never tell the truth. You never admit to being wrong. You've never been able to, and you probably won't.

Oh, by the way, Happy Fathers Day since it's today.

I'm sure one your spy's will show you this, which is fine, people deserve to know the truth.