You can’t help but to be hard on yourself, especially when the day comes that your child starts asking for the other parent. You feel guilty because there are some things you just might not be able to teach your child. In my case, it was not being able to teach my son how to pee off the porch, play football, etc. Sometimes, there just isn’t anything you can do to fix the situation.

Sometimes, things just don’t work out like you had planned. I often feel awkward when people ask me where my son’s biological father is. Sometimes, it is harder to explain to people why I don’t get as much time with my son because I am working or at school.

The tricky part of all this is knowing what you’re doing right. I applaud single parents because it is so hard without the emotional support and the back up when you can’t handle it all by yourself. Single parents are so much harder on themselves. We somewhat feel like we’ve failed our child, but we have to be strong because we are all they have now. Yes, I have an awesome family, but some days it’s just plain hard. I constantly need the reassurance I’m doing something right because in the back of my mind I feel I have somewhat failed my son or will fail him because there are some things I cannot teach him as well as a man could. Sometimes, you just need the reassurance that you’re doing a great job.

You’re giving your child enough love for both parents. That’s all it takes. Your child will be closer to you than ever. You are never letting your child forget that while one parent may be absent, they are not any less loved or cared for. Not only are you doing that, but you are also teaching them how to love and not to give up on love. No matter what the situation with the other parent may be, you cannot let your child give up on the idea of love.

You’re juggling enough for two parents. You are taking your child where they need to be, doing twice the laundry, packing the lunches, etc. You are super parent and don’t forget it! Sometimes, it may be a little hectic, but you know it is all worth it.

You aren’t basking on the idea of being a single parent. You are being strong for your child, and you are not letting your stress get in the way. You may feel the guilt of not being able to teach your child as much, but the first time you hear your child say, “thank you” or “yes ma’am/no ma’am”, you will get that little bit of reassurance that you are doing something right.

You’re being the good and the bad guy, and that is okay. We all know how it goes...the strict parent and the fun parent. You are finding a balance to be both. While I think of my son as one of my best buddies, I also know when it comes down to it I have to put my foot down and discipline him when he needs it because that is what a parent is supposed to do.

Sometimes, you have to be reassured that what you are doing is right and good. When you get those dirty looks for not having a ring on your finger or when you hear those whispers, you just have to overlook it. You are doing an awesome job, and you are doing the best you can. That really is all that matters. Your child thinks you hung the moon and the stars. One day your child or children will thank you for it and will make you realize how strong you truly were when you didn’t feel it at all.