Ramen...I don't know how to begin to describe my deep feelings for you. You've become a staple in my college food pyramid and life in general. Before you, I didn't believe in love. In fact, my life didn't truly exist until I met you. I thought love was something made up by Hallmark to sell more greeting cards throughout the year. I was lost and thought I'd never find the right one for me. You've taught me what it truly means to love someone.
Love is...
Shrimp flavor.
How does it taste like shrimp without containing any actual seafood? The world may never know. The ingredients include "shrimp flavoring." If you ask me, that sounds even sketchier than a gas station California roll.
Chicken flavor.
The Asian equivalent to McDonald's chicken nuggets. They both contain no chicken whatsoever. I guarantee both companies share trade "chicken-less" secrets.
Oriental flavor.
Honestly, what the hell is "oriental" flavor? If anyone knows, please comment.
Pork flavor.
Does this actually contain pork? Maruchan, hollah at me so I can know if my vegetarian friends can eat this.
Souper packs.
The one item that will make the cashier look at you with a look of pity and sympathy then ask, "Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Are times tough for you right now?" Your reply will be, "Yeah, I'm a college student. I'm going to pay for this in all pennies."
Ramen, you've gotten me through those all-nighters during exam week. You became my only friend I can call at 4 AM. You're the one thing in my life that is impossible to mess up. I can cover you in Sriracha and add meat and vegetables if I'm in a really fancy, Food Network chef mood. You make my friends feel like real cooks even though some of them can't even boil eyes. Ramen, you've been there through thick and thin. No food in this world could ever replace you. The love I have for you is eternal and everlasting. Thank you for giving me an instant chicken-flavored love story. Dreams really do come true. I cannot wait to see what the rest of our future holds. Ramen, you have made my heart full of sodium. For that, my doctor and body hates you, but I will always love you.
Let's be honest with ourselves here. If you eat ramen on a daily/weekly basis, you're either of Asian descent or a wasted, broke college student. On behalf of the collegiate community, ramen, we thank you.
