Having the ability to care deeply about people has always been my best and worst quality. The good part is that I always strive to make people feel cared about and I have many people who care about me because of this quality. Wearing my heart of my sleeve also brings out the reality that some people will take advantage of you. Which I didn't realize until I started being friends with you.
You used my soft heart to capitalize on your own insecurities because you knew you could push me around and make me who you wanted to be. I was not the person I wanted to be while I was friends with you and made many decisions that do not reflect me. I am taking responsibility for all these actions because in the end they were my choice, but that doesn't mean that I am not angry at you for using me for your own agenda. I am a better person without someone who constantly feels the need to self destructive. I can't put effort into something that you are trying to destroy and I definitely will not let you destroy me in the process. I learning that I matter too, and that is why I am choosing for once to care about myself more then I care about someone else.
I can't keep putting you before myself because I've changed a lot since we started being friends. You tried to steer me away from my own goals and lower me to be at the level you wanted. Thankfully, I have a passion for my future and was taught that I can also do great thing based on how I live my life. I hope that is something you learn because I think you can do awesome things as well.
Trust me, I fought this moment for as long and hard as I could. I ignored my other people when they warned me about you, because I wanted to see the good in you. And I still believe that the good is there.
You're not a bad person, if you were a bad person this probably would be a lot easier. Truthfully, this is really hard for me to let go of because I care so deeply about people and cant just stop caring. I will always care about you, and will always be here for you but I need to let myself grow as well. Also I think that with a little bit of growing up and changing we could be friends again one day and have our dream like we always wanted together but this is goodbye for right now, or maybe forever.
Best wishes,
Lexi
