If you have every seen the film "Perks of Being a Wallflower," you already have an idea of where I am going with this. Maybe you don't. But I will say that the film actually related to me on a personal level. Well not that the character and I have the exact same situation, but the isolation factor plays into this very well as I used to be, and can still be a very island like person.
In middle school, I actually avoided contact with other people just because I did not like many people I went to school with because I could not relate to them and they did not take the time to get to know me vice versa. I was fairly happy when I went to the Catholic school my parents sent me to, but I was the outsider, the weirdo, the freak. And I liked it. I liked that after school, I didn't have to worry about complicated friendships during such an awkward stage in life. I would go to the library, read my books, go on the computer, hesitantly go to volleyball practice and the routine would start all over.
Isolation became the main factor of my identity, that I shut myself away from the world. Probably just because I liked having my books and just being a wallflower, watching everything come and go and watch people just deal with their life. Once I reached high school, with different people surrounding me (and being scared shitless to the point where I had to be drug to school by my mom and dad). I learned that there were different people who didn't know me. I didn't have to hide all the way in the back of the class, slouched with my MUSE hoodie pulled over my face...
Being a wallflower was fun, if you enjoy people watching and just letting the world go by. The "Perks of being a Wallflower" no pun intended, are being your own person which is great because you have control. I met my boyfriend of 5 years because of me being a wallflower. We both just wanted to blend into the background and not have to worry about the cliques that continuously formed around us.
HOWEVER, having gone to college in a different area and losing my mind because I was not sure of my surrounding. I wasn't sure of anything. Sure, I made a few close friends in high school, but we lost touch, and only having my boyfriend in the military, then those of my friends who were left, had gone to other parts of the state. I became unsure of everything and I was in a panic. BUT because of a few classes, and finding eccentric weirdos that I still love like family, even to this day. I found a place outside of my island If middle school and high school were a bust, then college you will find those few weirdos you love more than anything.
Having close friends who share in your wallflower endeavors also help you grow as a person, try new things, go on random adventures, take late night drives, snowmobiling, games of truth or dare gorging on Dr Pepper and Doritos. We all grew as wallflowers, and I am glad I was able to grow with the people who share so much with me and hopefully we can continue our gorging on junk food and Dr Pepper endeavors! So go ahead, and be a wallflower, but know that you can't be a wallflower on your lonely island forever, and let people see you and get to know you!
