Every night for the past three years, before turning the lights off and falling asleep, I have written down the best part of my day in a note on my phone. I don’t really consider myself an optimist, and I didn’t start this routine because I felt like I needed to be more positive. Rather I wanted to make sure that I didn’t forget the things that matter to me, even if those things seemed small. Especially if those things seemed small. Now over 1,000 items long, this list is a running reminder of all the things I appreciate in my daily life.
When I first committed to making this list I decided to lay down some ground rules for myself. The first rule, and most obvious, is that I have to record something every day. The next rule is that I can’t record the event until right before bed, as I don’t want to preemptively decide the best thing that happened before the day is even over. Lastly, I have to limit myself to writing the single best thing that happened, and not simply list all the great things that occur in a day. Sometimes I’ll slip in an extra event or two, but for the most part these rules are concrete. Some days this task is easy, and other days it is extremely difficult, but the process itself has been invaluable. Over the past three years, this is what I’ve learned.
The Good Days Can Always Get Better
The main reason I made the rule that the events have to be recorded at night is so that I don’t set my mind on a best moment too early in the day and potentially miss out on great moments later on. There always seems to be something else in store, and I’ve come to realize that there is no time of day in which greatness is most likely to occur. On a beautiful spring day in Minnesota, when I played potentially some of my best games of ultimate frisbee my freshman year, the best part of my day did not end up being my own success on the field, but an enjoyable car ride back to campus with my teammates. On a summer day filled with perfect weather for sailing all afternoon, a delicious outdoor barbecue, and a roaring campfire, the best moment didn’t come until right before midnight as I watched shooting stars across the lake with a close friend. The day isn’t over until it’s over.
Even The Worst Days Have A Silver Lining
Some days can be hard. Really hard. It is these days in which I fidget in bed at night, staring at the blank entry on my phone, unable and unwilling to look on the bright side of a day masked by darkness. But by forcing myself to write something down anyways, I have shown myself that I can always find some good in the bad. Spending time with friends after a tragic accident. A warm, home cooked meal after a funeral. Laughing with my coworkers after a terrible day at work. It is not that these silver linings make the bad things any better or even close to going away. Rather their existence helps me persist and look forward to days when finding that glimmer of positivity will not be so difficult.
People Are Important
Though I have not made an official count, it is a fair estimate that over 80% of my daily entries mention other people, whether they are friends, family members, or random strangers that brighten my day. Every once in a while I relish in some alone time, but these moments are rarely the ones that make the list. It is crazy adventures with close friends that make the good days better. It is kind words from my family that make the bad days bearable. Companionship should never be taken for granted.
The Small Things Matter
Though it is easy to remember the big events each day, it is often the small moments that matter the most. I make sure to record my favorite moment every day, and not postpone until later, because if I have to fill in all the entries at the end of the week I forget the little moments that make each day unique. A congratulatory text from an old teammate can mean more than winning the game they congratulated me on. Simply running into some friends when walking across campus can brighten an entire day. When I look back over my list it is often these little moments that make me smile the widest, and it is these moments I now try to create for others. A good morning text, a hello, or a wave can all mean more than we realize.
Small Memories Trigger Big Ones
The best part of this three-year exercise has by far been the opportunities it provides for reflection. Every time I scroll through the list on my phone a million memories come flooding back to me, as each daily entry prompts me to remember other moments from the same day or week. Remembering a single sunset over the ocean can spark hundreds of memories of a whole vacation, and mention of an engaging conversation with an old friend can serve as a reminder of an entire relationship. Spending a few minutes each day recording my favorite moments is worth it for the endless supply of memories.
Having a daily routine that allows me to reflect on the things I appreciate in life has been crucial to gaining an understanding of myself as I’ve moved through college, and will hopefully continue to help develop my sense of self as I forge into the future. As I reach more crossroads, I’ll always remember that the good, bad, and everything in between are mixed in together, and it is up to us to choose which feelings we will let prevail each day. It may be Gabrielle Zevin who sums it up best. “But I believe good things happen everyday. I believe good things happen even when bad things happen. And I believe on a happy day like today, we can still feel a little sad. And that’s life, isn’t it?”
