Dear Person Who Doesn't Believe Leggings are Pants,
Hi there, friend. It has come to my attention that you, like many others before you, disapprove of people like me. You may think that I'm lazy, immodest, and unprofessional. You roll your eyes at me in the checkout line at Target while you thumb through a magazine filled with women dressed much more scantily than I. You tell your children to avert their eyes because human anatomy is just too scandalous, even when I'm showing zero skin below the neck. The mere suggestion that I have buttocks and legs is apparently too much for your narrow mind to handle. You judged me as soon as you saw me because I made the horrendous decision to wear leggings as pants. I'll let you in on a little secret:
I feel sorry for you.
I am sorry that you are so caught up in what I choose to put on my body that you can't see me for who I really am. I happen to be a pretty remarkable person. I have a rockin' personality and make delicious baked goods. You, however, will never know that because you shut me down from the starting gate for my wardrobe choice. Here's another secret: I don't care. I couldn't care less what you think of me. Do you know why? It's because I'm too busy celebrating how comfortable I am in my leggings.
Not only do I pity you for discounting an entire person for something as trivial as what they wear, I feel sorry that you have never experienced the magical feeling of wearing leggings as pants. It is obvious to me that you've never worn them, because otherwise you would not be judging me so harshly.There is a very famous quote that goes:
"Once you wear leggings as pants, you never worry about another stupid, inane thing ever again and you pet puppies and kittens and eat chocolate every day. Oh, and you always have lip balm when you need it. And your phone never dies." -Anonymous
It's super long and rambles a bit, but who am I to argue with such a classic American idiom? In all seriousness, though, anyone who has ever worn leggings knows how amazing they are. They're comfortable, warm, and can go with pretty much anything. Leggings are incredibly versatile. Dress or skirt that's a little too short to comfortably wear on its own? Add some leggings. Monochromatic outfit that needs a little pop? Pick out some colored or patterned leggings. Ate yourself into a food coma and none of your jeans fit? No worries, pull on that heavenly garment. Haven't shaved your legs since Donald Trump's hair was still attached to a cornstalk? Leggings to the rescue.
Honestly, if the idea of someone wearing leggings as pants is more offensive to you than the yellowed vegetable above, you have a problem. Corn is definitely worse than leggings too. It's way too expensive at movie theaters, and why can't we digest it? I digress.
Honestly, though, why do you have such a problem with leggings? I've tried to think of excuses for hating them, but so far haven't figured it out. I can understand being a little wary if the leggings are see-through, but I quadruple check mine in the mirror from multiple angles before I go anywhere. As long as all of my important parts are covered, what is the issue? Maybe you have an archaic worldview where you believe all women should hide the shape of their bodies under heavy skirts and shawls at all times. Maybe you think only certain body types should wear leggings. Or, maybe your jeans are just cutting into you from wearing them all day and it's putting you in a bad mood.
Regardless, your negative attitude is irrelevant. I'm too busy being happy and comfortable with myself in my own life. I hope one day you can do the same.
Sincerely,
An extremely comfortable, leggings-clad person.
