1.) WHEN IS IT RELEASING, FOR ​​GOD'S-- (wait, scratch that)​​ FOR SATAN'S SAKE?!

It's been confirmed that AHS Season 8 will be premiering on Wednesday, September 12th at 10:00 pm, so pull out your shovels and start digging your way up to the surface as quickly as you can (or if your WiFi signal is good enough to stream FX, you can just chill down there and embrace the AHS Murder House aesthetic).

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2.) Crossing the Streams (Seasons. I meant seasons.)

It's been confirmed that each season of AHS occurs in the same universe and that each is connected in some way. Theories include some that are as convoluted as the Pixar Theory (like this detailed one), while others are simple (The Nine Layers of Hell Theory). Many characters have been shared between seasons (such as Marcy the realtor & medium Billie Dean Howard), but now we're just straight up going to be throwing two seasons into a mosh pit. Our God Ryan Murphy leaped at the opportunity to have two of the arguably best seasons of AHS, Murder House (#1) & Coven (#3), copulate and give birth to Apocalypse (#8), which is sure to be the Hell Baby we've been waiting for.

That being said, this season is bound to be CRAZY confusing for anyone unfamiliar with the characters as some of the regular cast will be playing not one, but two characters simultaneously. Sarah Paulson is playing three different characters, for Satan's sake! Better brush up on your lore, everyone, or you'll be more confused than most of the characters are constantly in AHS.

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3.) What is Apocalypse even about?

From what has been revealed thus far, the season will be combining Murder House & Coven (as stated previously) and centers around, you guessed it, the end of the world, which will be brought on by Michael Langdon, the child Vivien and Tate birthed in Murder House.

Executive producer Alexis Martin Woodall said "The story begins with the end of the world and then our world begins;" quite telling (and by that, I mean not at all, but what can you really expect from AHS if not a little mystery?). In addition, Murphy has mentioned that the season will begin in a "very tangible and familiar place." Maybe we're starting at the Murder House itself??

The AHS community is also in agreement that they are reasonably confused as to when the season will take place; the general consensus right now is definitely the future, but the issue right now is "when" exactly. In January, Murphy mentioned October 2028 & October 2038, but in April he said October 2019. What is the truth, Murphy?! (If we're being honest, the actual apocalypse is likely to happen in the next year or so, who are we even kidding, so like--)

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4.) Can't remember Murder House & Coven? Don't have time to binge-watch AHS for 25 hours straight? Here's what you need to know.

MURDER HOUSE SYNOPSIS:

"Murder House opens with the protagonist family, the Harmons, moving into an old victorian in LA after Vivien Harmon has a miscarriage and discovers her husband, Ben Harmon, cheating on her with Hayden, one of his students (ew). The move is supposed to be a fresh start for the family but it quickly turns into a nightmare as they encounter the ghosts of tenants past in the home. Their personal drama only gets worse which is not helped by the pestering of their next-door neighbor, Constance Langdon and her daughter Addie. Brooding teenage daughter Violet Harmon despises LA but enjoys the house for its creepiness and quickly becomes romantically entangled with a fellow moody teenager, Tate, who we later discover is also Constance's child.

As the show progresses, more and more ghosts appear in the house, as the violent ends of each of the previous tenants are revealed. It becomes apparent that anyone who dies in the house is cursed to linger there, tortured by their earthly cares and haunting the living tenants, forever. The very first tenant, Nora Montgomery, is cursed with the desire for a child, and Tate tries to help her with that by, of all things, donning a latex suit to hide who he is and impregnating Vivien Harmon. That's right, he hooked up with his girlfriend's mom. But because Tate is actually dead and Vivien is alive, the child that they conceive is destined to be born the antichrist." (from "American Horror Story: Murder House Recap" by Greg Thomas and Veronica Larkin at Gamespot)

COVEN SYNOPSIS:

"The third season follows a Coven of witches who are descendants from some of those who escaped Salem and who reside within Miss Robichaux's Academy in New Orleans. Zoe Benson is sent to the Academy and upon arrival, she meets Madison Montgomery, a telekinetic and a recovering drug abuser who was once a child film star; Queenie, a descendant of Tituba & living voodoo doll; and Nan, an enigmatic clairvoyant who can hear the thoughts of others. The Academy is run by headmistress Cordelia Foxx, who has always lived in the shadow of her mother & the Coven's "Supreme", Fiona Goode.

Several other characters come into play and several die tragically, but it's discovered that Fiona is dying, which means a New Supreme is rising to take the throne. The Coven sets out to find the next Supreme with the test of Seven Wonders. Misty and Zoe die while attempting different tests. Queenie is disqualified when she is unable to revive Zoe. Madison can but refuses, and angrily leaves after she fails a test. Kyle (Zoe's boyfriend & the Coven's "guard-dog") then kills her for not saving Zoe. Cordelia enters the competition and successfully brings Zoe back. She becomes the new Supreme and reveals the Coven to the world. Cordelia, Zoe, Queenie, and Kyle open the doors to the Academy, welcoming the new recruitment of witches." (adapted from American Horror Story: Coven from Wikipedia's Plot Summary)

5.) "Is my BAE going to be in this season?"

The answer is most likely "yes" on nearly every account, including the AHS goddess herself, Jessica Lange. The usual suspects will be returning (Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters, Kathy Bates, Emma Roberts, Billie Lourd, Connie Britton, Dylan McDermott, Taissa Farmiga, Billy Eichner, Leslie Grossman, Adina Porter, Cheyenne Jackson, Gabourey Sidibe, Lily Rabe, Frances Conroy and Stevie Nicks), plus some newcomers (Cody Fern [Duncan Shepard in House of Cards], Joan Collins [Alexis Coulby in Dynasty], Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman [Jay Carter in UnReal], and Kyle Allen [Hawk Lane in The Path]).

It's a party for sure!

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