Genetics gave me your eyes and your smile,

But your cold and off-putting demeanor gave me a desire to be open and warm to let in those who have been outside in the winter at the cost of my own heat,

You gave me a love for video games, fantasy, and all things Star Wars,

But you robbed me of necessary components and moments, like learning to drive or playing outside,

Growing up was always an uphill battle, we could never see eye to eye even when we were almost the same height,

My father says because he didn't have a father that he doesn't know how to be one,

I say I learned how to be a man without my father supporting my choices, why couldn't you?

You bashed me with a chair, I cracked 3 of your ribs a week before Halloween, OUR favorite holiday,

Not even that kind of connection could prevent you from changing the locks less than 6 hours later causing me to live on my own devices again,

The first time I moved out was me trying to grow up,

The second time was you forcing me out the door courtesy of Abington Police Department,

When I got to the hospital that night they asked what happened,

My only response was "Just the usual father and son stuff,"

Only this isn't usual, this isn't how family works,

I can say I hate you as many times as I want,

But that doesn't stop me from wishing that the man I got my passion from, who accidentally molded me into the man I was today, would just tell me he's proud.