I am Genderfluid

I am Genderfluid

They, Them Theirs
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First things first, this isn’t a coming out article. I’m kind of already out to most people accept maybe some of my coworkers. I’m out to my friends. I’m out to my parents. So, don’t worry about that and if you didn’t know, well now you know. Second thing is explaining what exactly gender fluid means. Is it one of those weird, wacky identities millennials have these days to seem special? No. Is it a mental disorder that can be fixed with a little help? I think it’s cool that you care about mental health, but no, this gender identity is not a mental disorder. By definition, genderfluid means “denoting or relating to a person who does not identify themselves as having a fixed gender.” That definition can be found through a quick google search. And that’s pretty much me.

In general, I’m still working out the odds and ends of my gender identity, something that’s been a lengthy process. Gender is something I’ve always thought about but it was only recently I began thinking about it outside the bounds of the gender binary and around that time is when I started questioning my gender. My identity is complicated and through pressure of feeling like I need to know right now every nuance of my identity and feeling like a fraud in my own definition of self, it can be difficult to pin it down. But luckily, I’ve been told that’s okay. The issue is that genderfluid people and those who don’t identify as “just a man” or “just a woman” live in a world where we haven’t quite developed the language to describe our gender. We don’t teach it in schools, we’ve only started teaching about it in liberal arts schools and even so a lot of it is just theory. So, really when it comes to figuring it all out, you kind of have to wing it and ignore people who doubt you because you don’t one hundred percent understand it yourself. You don’t have to be an expert on your gender identity to identify with it. A cis woman doesn’t have to be an expert on every single thing about women and what it means to be a cis woman to identify as one, why should I know every single thing about being a genderfluid person?

Right now, I’m in the phase of figuring out how I want to present myself and what does my gender identity say about my style. There aren’t a lot of great examples of fashion outside of the gender binary, from agender fashion looking like it came out of a weird sci-fi film where no one has emotions to genderfluid fashion basically trying to be both masculine and feminine and that’s barely a fraction of the complicated identity. Heck, not even sliver as everyone presents differently. So, not only do we have to figure out the language ourselves, but we have to figure out the style.

At first, I used to be really aware and scared of the levels of femininity and masculinity I was presenting at a time. I would wear something and feel weird about it being too feminine or not feminine enough or too masculine or not masculine enough. I would get weird about my hair being long because I was afraid that I looked too much like a girl but if I wore it up, I looked too much like a guy. I would have it down and feel like I’m a fraud because I could never pass as a guy but I’m not pretty enough to be a girl. But now, I wear my hair really short and I feel a lot better about my appearance. It’s a lot easier for me to feel confidently masculine or to present more feminine if I want to. For the first time in recent, I took a selfie without make up on snapchat and actually felt attractive and masculine when for years I felt that only my feminine side could be attractive. And don’t think for a second that you have to cut your hair to feel attractive as a genderfluid person. But just know that in discovering and understanding your identity, it helps to experiment, whether it means trying on clothes you normally wouldn’t try or trying a hairstyle or makeup style that is new to you. You might find you like it or that you hate it.

In discovering my identity, I was in a bad place with friends and relationships, but finding new friends who accept me, no questions asked and a significant other who supports me and my identity means the world to me and has really helped me find myself. So if you’re someone questioning their gender identity or if you feel lost in your discovery, know that you aren’t alone and that it’s okay if you don’t know everything. You don’t have to know everything right away, but you’ll get there

Cover Image Credit: Deviant Art

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28 Urban Slang Terms Every New Yorker Knows

It's dead ass mad brick out today.
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The New York City youth is greatly influenced by hip-hop culture, and hip-hop culture is continuously influenced by New York City. With the colorful expressions found in both hip-hop and the streets of New York, colorful language is inevitable. The truth is, you're not a real New Yorker if you've never heard these terms before.

1. Whack = (adj) used to describe something that is appalling in nature

"That's whack!"

2. Grill = (v) to stare, usually impolitely; to give a dirty look

"Dude stop grilling my girlfriend, I know her spray tan looks whack."

3. To front/Fronting = (v) to put on a façade; acting like you are something that you are not.

"Stop fronting like you own the place."

4. Cop = (v) to buy

"I'm about to cop some chips, you want some?"

5. Catch these hands = phrase used to initiate a fight

"If that girl keeps grilling me she can catch these hands."

Variations: throw these hands; throw hands; catch this fade

6. Crusty = (adj) used to describe someone who is dirty or trashy

"Girl, did you shower today? Your hair is looking all types of musty, dusty, and crusty."

Synonyms: musty; dusty

7. Lit = (adj) used to describe someone or something that is amazing in every sense

Variations: litty

8. Mad = (adv) very

"Stay away from her, bro. She has mad problems."

Synonyms: dumb; OD; stupid

9. Dumb = (adv) extremely

"This party is dumb lit."

Synonyms: mad; OD; stupid

10. Brick = (adj) very cold

"Damn, it's mad brick out."

11. Tight = (v) to be upset

"Stop running your fingers through my hair; you're getting me dumb tight."

12. Thirsty = (adj) desperate; (n) someone who is desperate

"I didn't tag you in my photo because I don't want any thirsties following you."

Variations: thirsties (n)

13. Buggin' = freaking out; acting up

"My mom just asked me to clean all the dishes even though it's not my turn. She's buggin."

Synonyms: wylin'/wildin'

14. Son = (n) a good friend

"Of course I know him, that's my son!"

Synonyms: B

15. B = (n) a good friend

"What's good, B?"

16. Sus = shady or false

*Short for "suspect" or "suspicious"

"That girl is mad sus for looking at me like that."

17. Dead ass = (adj) seriously

"You're dead ass getting me tight, B."

*Could also be used as follows:

"Dead ass?" = Are you serious?

"Dead ass!" = Yes.

18. Guap = (n) money

"Okay, this to all of my enemies that seeing me gettin' guap right now." -- Big Sean

Synonyms: Mulah; dough; casheesh

19. Grimey = (adj) used to describe a back-stabber

"I'm telling you, bro. He's mad grimey, don't trust him."

20. You woulda thought = a more exciting way to say "no"

"You woulda thought I was going to let you use my laptop to log on to your shady-ass websites."

21. OD/Ohdee/Odee = (adj) excessive; an abbreviation for "over-doing"

"Man, my professor just assigned OD work on BlackBoard."

Synonyms: mad; dumb

22. Wylin'/Wildin' = out of control

"That girl was wildin' last night when she threatened to throw hands at you for no reason."

Synonyms: buggin'

23. Facts = (adj) something that is rooted in truth

"That's a fact, B."

Synonyms: true

24. Snuff = (v) to punch

"I should've never threatened to throw hands. He straight up snuffed me in the throat."

Synonyms: rock

25. Wavy = (adj) used to describe something that is cool or nice

"I’m so wavy in the turbo Porsche, she so wavy in the new Mercedes" -- Ty Dolla $ign

Synonyms: dope, lit

26. Kicks = (n) sneakers

"Where'd you cop those kicks from?"

27. Beef = (n) having a fight or holding a grudge against another person or group of people

"Tommy told me you guys have beef."

28. Ice = (n) jewelry

"Ice on my neck cost me 10 times 3." -- D.R.A.M.

Variations: icy (adj)

Cover Image Credit: BKNPK

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6 Things You Notice When You Transfer From A Community College To A University

Transferring to a university from a community college could be the most stressful and rewarding thing you ever do.

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After spending four years of my life taking classes on and off at a community college in the middle of Michigan and living at home with my parents, I finally decided to make the move and transfer to Eastern Michigan University to finish my degree. I still have a lot of work to do, but making this transition really helped me focus on what I need to do.

Here are the top 6 things I noticed after transferring to a big school from a small community college.

1. No matter how easy it might seem to get everything transferred, it's not.

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Maybe I've just had a bad experience, but everyone I've known that has transitioned from a community college to a university seems to have the same horror stories about the process involved with transferring: and it sucks.

Not only is there a ton of paperwork and appointments to go to with various advisers that all tell you different things, but sometimes the credits (a.k.a. the hard work you've put in at your previous school) just don't transfer for whatever reason. It's stressful, and anyone who says it doesn't have some kind of mental capability or superpower that I wish I had.

2. Students get way more involved.

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A big difference between community college and universities is how spirited the students get! At a community college, people pretty much just go to class and then go home. At EMU, it's all about the eagles! There are so many clubs and organizations to get involved in and sporting events to go to, and it's really refreshing to be around people who love their school! It makes a huge difference and makes you feel like you're part of something bigger.

3. There really is no college town like YOUR college town.

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College towns really are a whole other world. Everything on campus is close together, and there are lots of "spots" in town where students hang out regularly. It's almost like each university is in its own little snow globe that is separate from the rest of the world. And I love it.

Ypsilanti, MI is starting to feel like a home away from home for me, and I know lots of students feel the same way about their college towns. Whether it's weekly trivia nights at the local pizza joint or walking to Insomnia Cookies at 1 a.m., every university has staples that make it unique.

4. You don't see people you went to high school with every day.

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My community college was like part two of high school for me. This is because it was so close to where I graduated, and the fact that it's cheap and an easy way to ease into college. I used to see so many people in classes and in the hallways that I already knew from high school, so it wasn't much of a change and didn't really feel like college. (I'm not by any means bashing people who start at community colleges either, I think they're a great place to start.) Since my university is almost two hours from home, there was pretty much no one I already knew here. New city, new school, new people.

5. The friends you make will be longer lasting with stronger bonds.

Kristin Madaj

This is not to say that I didn't enjoy anyone in my classes at community college. I made a few friends there, but it's a lot different. I pretty much only saw those people in class, and then everyone goes home afterward.

At universities, many people live on campus or near it, so they are around a lot more and have time to hang out. I've made some lifelong friends already this year in my classes and especially in the building I live in. I hang out with my roommates every day, and I see the people who live in my building pretty often too. It's a community where we all have a lot in common, and the friendships are lasting.

6. You have a chance to start all over!

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Because everything is new and different when most people transfer to a university, you have a chance to make a whole new start for yourself! No one knows you or your past failures, no one knows who you dated in high school or what your reputation was. New school, new you!

Bottom line: transferring to a university after being at a community college for a few years can be stressful. It can be difficult and a lot different than what you're used to. But it was one of the best things I've ever done. I'm only one semester in and I've already made so many memories and met so many amazing people! And those people will be there for all of your stresses and bad days. If you're getting ready to make the transition or even thinking about it, I hope you fall in love with your new school and home as much as I did.

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