Alzheimer's Disease. It is a debilitating form of dementia that affects many people today. It has ravaging effects on memory, behavior, thinking and language skills. The Alzheimer's Foundation of America estimates that as many as 5.1 million Americans may be facing the disease today. The disease is rampant, and while research about it is ongoing, there is no known cure for it.
My grandmother (we called her Granny) was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's Disease in 2001. I was only 7 years old at the time. Soon after the diagnosis, my parents made the decision to move my family from New Jersey to Kentucky to be closer to my Granny and Poppa during this unstable time. My parents explained the disease as well as they could to my 7-year-old self and my 5-year-old sister. They explained that they wanted us to make memories with my Granny while she was still doing well.
The disease began with tiny symptoms – Granny would repeat herself or forget what we had just told her. Eventually, she progressed to forgetting names and places. By the last several months of her life, she did not remember any of her family members, and she could barely speak. My grandfather (Poppa) and other family members had to do everything to care for her. Granny passed away in 2008. She is greatly missed and forever in our memories.
Watching someone you love go through something like this is honestly very traumatic. Alzheimer's Disease is incredibly horrific. It brings with it many harsh realities as the one you love slowly disappears and is replaced with a disease-ridden body whose ability to function continually decreases. There is little to soften the pain of the disease for the one who has it or for those who love them.
While I wish that my beloved grandmother could have been spared from the horror of this disease, I am thankful for the time spent with her. I am thankful for the beautiful memories we have of her. I am thankful for the influence that her memory continues to have on my life. Alzheimer's Disease is harsh, but the experience of watching my Granny and Poppa deal with it taught me several important things.
Alzheimer's taught me about true love.
My Poppa was (and still is today) completely and wholly devoted to Granny. In spite of the hurt his heart was going through and the fear I am sure he experienced, Poppa never gave up on Granny. From the beginning of the diagnosis to her last days of life, his love for her was undeniable. From gently explaining something he had already said multiple times in the early stages, to fixing her hair, feeding her and keeping her clean when she had no idea who he was, Poppa showed his intense love for Granny in all that he did throughout the course of the disease. He took the “for better or for worse, until death do us part,” aspect of his marriage vow very seriously, showing everyone involved an amazing example of true love.
Alzheimer's taught me about faithfulness.
This somewhat springs off of the idea of true love – but faithfulness is something that was also very evident in the lives of Granny and Poppa throughout Granny's battle with the disease. Alzheimer's altered her behavior, personality, mood...everything about her. As the disease worsened, she would lash out in anger at those who tried to help her and she did not understand anything that was going on. Gone was the intelligent, kind, loving, and caring individual we all had known. The real Granny had disappeared. However, Poppa stayed faithful to her. He never once ran away from his commitment to love and cherish her. His faithfulness to her was shown in the little things he did for her everyday. His life was no longer his own; he devoted it completely to caring for her. I know this was not always easy for him and took its toll on him both physically and emotionally, but he never gave up. In a culture where the slightest difficulty may cause a marriage to dissolve, the example of faithfulness in marriage that Poppa set is beautiful, memorable, and inspiring.
Alzheimer's taught me the importance of making memories with those you love.
My parents made sure that my siblings and I had as many opportunities as possible to make quality memories with Granny before the disease worsened. I am thankful for those memories. When things were worse, it sometimes was difficult to remember that it was still my Granny that we were taking care of. Those memories helped us through the bad times. And today, those quality memories of time spent with Granny are the part of her that lives on in each of our lives. You never know what each day is going to bring. Life changes dramatically from what you always imagine it being. Alzheimer's disease taught me that it is incredibly important to make time for those you love. Make memories with them. Make time for them. Make sure they know that you love and care for them. You never know when life might change dramatically. If it does, you will be so thankful for the time you spent and the memories you made with your loved one. Those are the things are irreplaceable.
