In college, it seems that everyone gets caught up in why they don't have a significant other, why their grades are not as good as they want them to be, why their parents are still pushing them to get a job, and also why it seems like we all have no idea what we are doing. I have even gotten completely lost in what others have thought of me.

However, I took time to travel the world and discover who I truly am.

t truly took a while for me to feel comfortable in my skin again, on top of all of the school work and plenty of sleepless nights, but everyone can do it.

At the beginning of last semester, I completely felt lost. I was not happy at all. A lot of people that I was close to turned out to be very toxic for my life. They always had a comment that would make me feel as if everything that I ever did was wrong with my life. I laugh at weird points in conversations, I am dumb and stupid and nobody can speak common sense to me. I was left feeling as if I did not matter.

Everytime that I would try to stick up for myself, I was shut down and laughed at. All of this was mainly having behind a curtain but I think a lot of people knew what was going on, even if they did not want to attempt it to me.

So you've reached the bottom. Your grades are okay and nobody else truly knows what you are feeling. Your entire world as just been shattered and it is all of you to figure out who you are. You walk on campus (mainly on the verge of tears) and just wish that everything could go back to how it was because for some treason you feel as if you deserve all of the things that happened to you, but you know deep down that you don't. So what now?

My first step was going and asking someone for help. I knew and still know that I can never let those people back into my life because they just want to hurt me and take pride in the accomplishments that I worked hard to achieve. Yet, I needed to speak with a professional in order to make sure that this is what I wanted.

I needed to change. I needed to realize that I am not what other people think, and I deserve more than what those toxic people could give me.

Through a lot of long nights and a lot of hard work. I started to believe it. I started to wake up every morning and know that my past truly helped me love myself again. It does not define me, but it has made me another person. I spent hours and hours talking to anyone that would listen, anyone that could offer help. I started going to yoga, dancing, and running. I started to enjoy eating and I also started to enjoy being with my friends. I started to not be so isolated. Everything was great.

However, as all healing stories show, those toxic people still wanted to come back into my life. Anytime I had a success, they would want to know what I was doing next. How they could figure out where I was and if I was doing well. They would always want to know if they had anything to do with my success. Even if there was no way that I would have accomplished any of it still being attached to them.

Through them trying to come back into my life, I realized that they knew that I deserved better. That is the only reason why they would want to come back. These people knew that I was going to do amazing things that they would never be able to accomplish. The only thing left that had to fit in place was me believing in myself.

Finally, I started working really hard on myself. I started journaling and taking psychology courses to understand why I was feeling the way that I was feeling. Sure, nothing is 100% and you will always have to continue working to improve yourself, but I feel that I have actually started to believe in myself and know that it does not matter what other people think. I am doing the best I can and being the best person that I can be. The people in my past are just going to be stuck sitting around and watching me succeed.