Why I'm Almost 20, But I Still Look 15
Start writing a post

Lately it seems like I'm always getting told, "Wow, you look so young!" People ask me my age, and when I say, "19," they comment something along the lines of, "Oh, I would have guessed, like, 15... but you'll be thankful for that someday."

People aways tell me I'll be thankful for these comments today. Sure, maybe when I'm 40 and still look 35, I'll feel good about myself, but there's a huge difference between that and looking 15 when you want to look 20. Those people who tell me I'll be thankful in the future don't realize how hurtful they can be in the present. I can think of a couple different reasons why I do look so young to other people.

One or more of my conditions probably stunted my growth, so I'm stuck at 5'2 1/4".

Every muscle in my body is swollen and inflamed, including the ones in my face. So that "cute baby angel face" is actually a lot of pain and muscle knots. So, yeah, it's a little bigger and rounder than it "should be." Honestly, all of me is.

I also barely have the energy to make myself look presentable, let alone perfectly put together. So, yeah, most days you won't see me wearing any makeup besides maybe some cc cream or powder. Most days my naturally curly hair is pulled back or down in some not-so-perfect style. Most often I dress for comfort and temperature regulation, not fashion. I wear compression socks instead of heels, extra layers instead of little black dresses. It's just how I have to function.

I know no one means harm by telling me I look young. I think what hurts is realizing that what they're saying is true, but there's not a lot I can do about it. And I think what hurts the most is knowing how much I want to be twenty and how much my illness is keeping that from me. I couldn't handle going away to college. I can't drive, because I have seizures. I can't work, because I'm too sick. I can't even eat whatever the heck I want, and some days, I can't even eat at all. Even if my maturity is higher than a twenty-something (or so I'm told it is), my body is stuck in this young and somewhat helpless state. There's not much I can do about it, and I cannot tell you how hard that is. So, maybe please stop telling me to be appreciative of comments that remind me of this painful reality I'm stuck in.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lum3n

Women are known to lug around heavy purses with unnecessary items inside. How many of these useful items do you keep in your own bag? We need to be prepared with a list of things to have with us whenever we leave the house again.

Keep Reading... Show less
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/dec/13/harry-styles-fine-line-review-columbia

I personally love using song lyrics as my Instagram captions, especially from songs that I love or that mean a lot to me, and I happen to love Harry Styles and all of his songs! So I made a list of lyrics from each of his songs that you could use in your next Instagram caption.

Keep Reading... Show less

Everyone's been here. And, truthfully, it sucks. But in order to move on and get past something you need to allow yourself to feel it for what it is--all of the heartbreak and pain--and then you can start to take steps move on.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

11 Christmas Movies You'll Remember If You Were A 2000s Kid

Because I'm still reminiscing about simpler times.

28252

The Christmas season is coming to an end, but it's not too late to get some last-minute movies in! Unfortunately, this year didn't look like a typical Christmas. While we can't have any big Christmas parties or family gatherings, we can still celebrate at home! Christmas is the best time for nostalgia, and we could all use some warm and fuzzy feelings as we wrap up a tough year and enter a new one that hasn't been proven any calmer, either.

As a kid who grew up in the 2000s, I can think of some of my favorite staple Christmas movies. If you're looking for recommendations or just a walk down memory lane, check out the list below.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

9 Reasons 'The Wilds' Should Be Your Next Binge Watch

The Wilds is the Best New Show on Amazon Prime

20027
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/amazon-s-wilds-much-more-just-gender-swapped-lord-flies-ncna1250078

As we enter the new year, you might be looking for a great show to kick-off 2021. Look no further, I have the perfect recommendation. "The Wilds" was released on Amazon Prime last month and has been gaining traction steadily since then. This series of 10 one-hour episodes tells the stories of eight girls who find themselves on a deserted island after their plane crashed while they are on their way to a resort. Unlike other survival shows, there's a bit more to the story than what first meets the eye. This show is unique in characters, storytelling methods, and plot.

If you aren't convinced yet, allow me to provide you with a list of further persuasion.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Therapeutic Ways To Be Adventurous During The Pandemic

Add some music to reduce the COVID-anxiety a bit and perceive your surroundings as the elaborate setting of a land far, far away from home

8948

Even if we are not traveling abroad at the moment, we can still travel locally while maintaining social distancing and preventative guidelines. Sometimes, the little things in life seem the most fascinating and joyous to us compared to the flamboyant luxuries that we perhaps have a wishful desire for.

So, as a potential remedy for our travel necessity, I have listed 5 alternative ways in which you can relish your traveling desires during this pandemic.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

10 Things TikTok Made Me Buy, And Now My Life Is So Much Better

Where would I be without my Revlon hair dryer or CeraVe skin products?! Thanks, TikTok.

10039
CeraVe/Instagram

TikTok is a great way to see what products are trending. People are sharing tips and tricks about items that they use to make their life happier, healthier, or just easier.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments