*Ques Single Ladies by Beyonce and all the hands go up”
How many times has your hand gone up during that song? No, but really, I put my hand up in ’09 when that song first came out and it seems like it hasn’t gone down since.
Good thing that’s another sad reality of my life – singleness.
Ever feel like everyone around you is in a relationship or just getting into one except for you? Yeah same. The worst part is the majority of the guys that I’ve had the slightest chance with, they end up either being jerks or just looking to hookup.
Just because I know what I want doesn’t mean that my heart is ready for a relationship. But in the meantime, I think I can be maximizing my time and living with a little more purpose.
I was sitting across the table from a friend this morning as breakfast and she had recently just gotten into a relationship. I was so excited for her but in the back of my mind, all I was thinking was “there goes another one of my friends and here I am still without someone”. I keep saying “I’ll be over here with just me and my dog”.
The next words that came out of her mouth were a little crazy because it left me looking at her sideways and a little dazed and confused. She literally said “I’m so happy to be in a relationship but I LOVE being single. I love having my independence and freedom and I just feel like I accomplished so much but clearly, The Lord has moved me out of that season for now."
So that left my heart saying “Well, Lord, I’ll move out of that season too if you want?” and I just kinda sat back and laughed.
But if I’m being completely honest here, her outlook was simply beautiful but the more that I thought about it – it was really really hard. From conversations in the past that I’ve had with my sweet friend, I know that she did not waste her singleness. She was not desperate, she was hopeful and content. She used her time wisely, learned well from others and filled her mind, her life and heart with Jesus! I am a firm believer that because of the waiting and the process her heart has gone through, she is ready to take care of her and her new man’s heart in the best way possible.
I have no doubt that her relationship is glorifying to Jesus and will continue to be that way. She is wise in everything that she does and did not take that season of singleness lightly.
As I’m sitting here eating my pizza and listening to John Mayer, I can’t help but have the urge to follow after my friend’s wise advice and make the most of it.
Mind you, I will make the most of it with pizza in my tummy and John Mayer on full volume because there’s really no other way I’d rather have it. I don’t want to waste my time jumping from guy to guy. I want to make the most of my time because I’m not tied down. I want to do the things that I want to do and love to do. I will choose a full heart over a broken and beaten one.
The refinement process might be hard and it might be long but it will pay off.
This is a season that I am not choosing for myself but I will choose to make the most of whatever season I am in. And if suddenly I get moved out of this season then I will look back and use the things that I’ve learned. I will not rush into anything and allow God to be in control.
After thinking about it, there’s really no other time than now to do what I want. To learn about independence, living on your own and doing things that you love and that make you happy. The time to live is NOW – not yesterday and not tomorrow but right now because we are really not guaranteed our tomorrow. We are wasting our time by sitting around for Prince Charming to call us or roll up on his white horse.
Let’s let the guys come to us when we’re least expecting it because we’re too busy making the most out of life.
So if you’re like me and you’re also in this season – take heart. This season will pass and your time is coming soon but for now, let’s make the most of singleness and press on because that’s what a full life looks like.