In today’s society, there is an obsession with beauty and perfection. Maybe we can blame it on the beautiful models photoshopped on Instagram or Facebook, or maybe we can blame it on the makeup era we are currently in. But it all comes down to the fact that the girls with impeccable looks and flawless figures are praised while the girl with her nose buried in a book is simply over looked.

When I was younger, I thought it was the sweetest thing for another girl or the boy I liked to call me pretty or to compliment my outfit or my hair and when I posted a selfie, I wanted comments saying those superficial things. Although I’m still very active on Instagram and Facebook and post selfies, I don’t want or need to be defined by looks— for someone to cut me down based on the blemishes on my face or for someone to build me up because they think I have pretty blue eyes. There’s so much depth inside one person that can’t be uncovered by physical appearance.

What really matters is not your looks at all. Looks may grab someone’s attention and pique their interest, but it won’t make them stay or make them fall in love with you. We all know someone who was breathtakingly beautiful at first, but the more you get to know them and see their true colors show, the more their beauty is overtaken by an ugly personality and a mean demeanor.

As I’ve grown up, I’ve realized there are a million things I’d rather be called than beautiful: kind, genuine, loving, thoughtful, intelligent, inspiring. The list goes on.

There’s always so much pressure to look a certain way and dress the way others want to see you, but at the end of the day, those things really don’t matter and if you’re not doing what you want, you’re wasting your time. I spent less time obsessing over actresses and models and wanting their perfect face or outfit and started pouring my energy elsewhere: myself.

We are not designed to be perfect, and better yet, there is no one who can even define what perfection is because beauty is up to the person perceiving it. Some people prefer blondes or red heads with curly hair or short girls or girls of another culture and with that preference in mind. They make accusations calling one girl prettier than the next, when in reality, they are just different than one another, one is not better or prettier.

Give yourself some credit. You may not be flawless on the outside, but your soul shines brighter. So what’s more important than looks? The answer is just about everything. Looks are fleeting and with one accident or a few passing years, looks become so obsolete. When someone remembers you, I hope they reflect on your personality and all the qualities that make you beautiful on the inside because that matters so much more than your appearance.