I’m slowly realizing that I am a very all-or-nothing person.

I have the classic “A to Z” personality and I don’t understand moderation when it comes to feeling something or pursuing new passions. This, depending on the situation, can be the greatest or the worst thing.

One week I’ll be at the gym, studying all day, and eating healthy. The next week I struggle even leaving my bed and I just lay around watching Netflix. I will have days where I can’t leave without a full face of makeup, and then the next I have no care for how I look.

I dive headfirst into the things that I have a passion for, like writing, and I devote my entirety to it. I will never half-ass any hobby because that's just a waste of my time.

I won’t give a second glance to something that I’m good at but don’t love because I don’t see the use of something without passion.

I also have an inability of ‘letting things go” because of my ‘all-or-nothing’ personality. It’s like, if you did me wrong once, whose to say you won’t do it again? And I can’t see the gray area that I know is there. You’re either on my good side or bad side — regardless of whether I understand why you did what you did. Betrayal I take with me to my grave.

On the opposite end of that, when I love someone, I love with everything in me. My closest friends and family know I would go the ends of the earth for them no matter how much I have on my plate.

I pride myself on how deeply I love and it sucks how I won’t give second chances but then again, I won’t get burned by the same flame twice.

Additionally, because of my strong intuition, I know right off the bat how I feel about someone—and sometimes it’s really hard to hide. I also become very stubborn in my judgments about people and it’s very difficult to convince me otherwise once I make my decision.

This also means that all my feelings are V E R Y strong and they’re very intense. I take trusting my intuition to a whole new level.

But at the end of the day, these imbalances all add up to a somewhat balanced (and very chaotic) life and I wouldn’t trade the way I am for anything else.