Stop Saying 'All Lives Matter'

Stop Saying 'All Lives Matter'

"He was black and in the wrong place."
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Dear White People,

Stop saying all lives matter. Do you know how stupid you sound? Of course, all lives are supposed to matter. The thing is, your life already has significance because of your skin color. Because you were born with white skin, your life has inherent value where a person with darker skin isn’t given that same value due to systemic racism. Black Lives Matter is a movement to bring attention to people who are still oppressed in this day and age. Don’t believe me? Read the below list and see if white privilege still exists.

As a white person I…

1. Have never been called a derogatory term based on my skin color

2. Don’t get told I “speak eloquently for a white girl.”

3. Was never told that I got accepted to college just because of affirmative action.

4. Have never been searched by the TSA at the airport.

5. Have generally good interactions with police officers.

6. Do not have to fear getting shot at point blank range for having a taillight out.

7. Do not have my hair touched by strangers.

8. Am represented in the media.

9. Don’t get asked, “No, but where are you from?”

10. Am statistically less likely to go to prison or live below the poverty line.

11. Can dress and act however I like without being label as “hood,” “thug,” “gangster,” etc.

12. Have never been asked, “As a white person, what do you think?”

13. Will never blame my skin color for not getting a job.

14. Am automatically trusted to not rob a store when I enter at night.

15. Can walk around in a hoodie with the hood up and not get shot.

16. Will not experience appropriation of my culture.

17. Am treated like I am intelligent, and people are not surprised when I am intelligent.

18. Do not feel pressure to represent my entire race.

19. Can listen to loud music in my car without being looked at negatively.

20. Can buy makeup that matches my skin color.

21. Can buy “nude” products that only come in one color which matches mine.

22. Will have a wonderful photo of me run on news outlets if I die.

23. Can google the word “beauty” and see people that look like me.

24. Can hang out with my other white friends and not be seen as a “gang.”

25. Am not judged on my financial status off of my skin color.

26. Can easily find someone to cut my hair.

27. Was not educated on systemic racism to protect myself from physical harm.

28. Don’t get called an “angry white b*tch” if I raise my voice in public.

29. Have never been called, “a bad white person,” if I didn’t know something of my ethnic history.

30. Do not get told to get over slavery.

31. Am not oppressed for my skin color.

32. Can trust that my race will not work against me if I need legal or medical help.

33. Always have my name pronounced correctly.

34. Can live my life how I please and not have it reflect on my race.

35. Did not have to fight for my rights in the United States government (except for being female).

36. Am not fetishized by the media.

37. Can trust if I commit a heinous crime my sentence will be lighter than if I wasn’t white.

38. Will be able to successfully blame my mental health for committing the above crime.

39. Have never experienced tokenism.

40. Have never been turned away from a social event for my skin color.

41. Can trust that if I am murdered, my murderer will be convicted.

42. Am statistically less likely to be murdered or raped, especially if I am part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

43. Can watch televised award shows and see people that look like me win.

44. Do not fear for my loved ones dying based on their skin color.

45. Can trust that politicians will not target me based on my skin color.

46. Can practice any religion without hate.

47. Believe that if I die the media will portray me for who I was, and not just another white kid dead.

48. Can read history textbooks and read about my history.

49. Can walk outside without my mother worrying if I will make it home.

50. Am able to live my life.

Stop saying All Lives Matter.

Because right now, it’s not “All Lives Matter,” and that needs to end.

Cover Image Credit: Vox.com

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle – Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying.

What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense.

I've heard it all:

"He was cute, why didn't you like him?"

"You didn't even give him a chance!"

"You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous.

However, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well.

Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault.

If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention a girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs"

Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him.

If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking Snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it.

He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush.

Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling.

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Dear Beautiful Black Girl, Never Forget Your Worth

An ode to all the beautiful black girls.

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We live in a society where societal standards greatly define the way we view ourselves. Although in 2019 these standards are not clear cut, some things are not easy to change. Not to play the race card, but this is true for women of color, especially black girls.

As much as I'd like to address this to all women, I want to hit on something that I'm more familiar with: being a black girl. Black females have a whole package to deal with when it comes to beauty standards. The past suppression and oppression our ancestors went through years ago can still be felt in our views of beauty. It is rare to see young black girls be taught that their afros and nappy hair are beautiful. Instead, we are put under flat irons and dangerous chemicals that change our hair texture as soon as our hair becomes too "complicated" to deal with. The girls with darker skin are not praised, but rather lowered in comparison to their peers with fairer skin. A lot of the conditioning happens at a young age — at the age of 8, already you can feel like you're in the wrong skin.

As we grow up, there are more expectations that come here and there, a lot of very stereotypical and diminishing. "You're a black girl, you should know how to dance," "black girls don't have flat butts," "black girls know how to cook," "you must have an attitude since you're black" — I'm sure you get the idea. Let me say this: "black girls," as they all like to say, are not manufactured with presets. Stop looking for the same things in all of us. Black girls come in all sizes, shapes, colors, and talents. I understand that a lot of these come from cultural backgrounds, but you cannot bash a black girl because she does not fit the "ideal" description.

And there is more.

The guys that say, "I don't do black girls, they too ratchet/they got an attitude" — excuse me? Have you been with/spoken to all the black girls on this planet? Is this a category that you throw all ill-mouthed girls? Why such prejudice, especially coming from black men? Or they will chant that they interact with girls that are light-skinned, that is their conditioned self-speaking. The fact that these men have dark-skinned sisters and mothers and yet don't want to associate with girls that look the same confuses me. And who even asked you? There are 100 other ethnicities and races in the world, and we are the one you decide to spit on? Did we do something to you?

Black girls already have society looking at them sideways. First, for being a woman, and second, for being black, and black males add to this by rejecting and disrespecting us.

But we still we rise above it all.

Black girls of our generation are starting to realize the power that we hold, especially as we work hand in hand. Women like Oprah Winfrey, Lupita Nyong'o, Chinua Achebe, Michelle Obama — the list is too long — are changing the narrative of the "black girl" the world knows. The angry black woman has been replaced with the beautiful, educated, and successful melanin-filled woman.

Girls, embrace your hair, body, and skin tone, and don't let boys or society dictate what is acceptable or beautiful. The black girl magic is real, and it's coming at them strong.

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