I just recently had the amazing privilege of celebrating my three year anniversary with my incredible boyfriend, Nathan Alexander Foxx. In honor of this amazing blessing, I want to share some advice I would like to give to any couples starting out. I do not say any of these because I think I have everything figured out or that I am better than anyone. On the contrary, relationships are hard and I am still constantly learning. However, here are just a few things I've learned that have really made a difference in my own relationship and I hope that they can help others as well.
1. Be all in
If both of the individuals in a relationship are not 100% committed, it's not going to work out. There are so many factors of life working against you and trying to pull you apart. If you are not going to give the relationship your all, then you will eventually part ways.
2. Never leave arguments without resolving them
Don't let your pride and your desire to be right overcome your desire to work things out with your significant other. We all get heated during arguments, and sometimes we need a little time to cool down. However, do not simply leave the argument and not resolve it. It will continue to grow until you have to address it once more. So go ahead and deal with it. Admit you overreacted. Admit you were wrong. It's okay. We all are, and your relationship means more than being right.
3. Do not bring up past mistakes or arguments once they've been resolved
If you have been in a relationship with someone for a significant amount of time, you will have witnessed some of their mistakes and you will have had some arguments. It is inevitable. However, once the two of you have dealt with the mistake or argument, do not continue to bring it up. Learn to forgive and forget in your relationship or you will not be able to move forward.
4. Make time for each other
My boyfriend and I try to have at least one date night a week. I understand that this is not possible for everyone, but I do recommend at least having a long phone conversation once a week. If you long distance, I know that might be all you can manage. If you can, it's even better if you can go on a date once a week. Couples that stay together are couples that intentionally make time for each other and seek to prioritize their relationship. If you're willing to spend hours a week watching Netflix, but you can't find a couple hours for a date it might be time to reevaluate your relationship.
5. Find common interests
Find some things that the two of you love to do together. Find a show that you can begin watching together, find a sport or activity you can do together, or maybe even find a food that you both love to eat together. Don't expect the other person to change a bunch of their preferences to match yours, and they should expect that of you. Find new things that both of you can enjoy together that don't require either of you to try and bend your preferences to meet what the other person wants to do.
7. Do not look to someone else to complete you
Don't put so much pressure on your partner. He or she will never be able to be the only person you need in your life. Jesus is the only person that can be your Savior, your everything, your rock, and your constant. Your girlfriend or boyfriend will never be able to always be there for you or to always say and be exactly what you need. Only God can fill that void for you. Depend upon the Lord and let your significant other be just that- your love, but not the supreme love of your life. Reserve that love for the supreme Lover of your soul.
